If you have any questions just ask me. This process really works- I have no doubt that you can be helped by it. And dont be put off because it claims to work so quickly.
Joined: Jan 14, 2005 Posts: 218 Location: United Kingdom
Posted: Sun Mar 13, 2005 6:01 pm Post subject:
Look into my eyes. Look into my eyes. The eyes. The eyes. Not around the eyes. Don't look around my eyes. Look into my eyes... You're under.
I've never heard of regression therapy working for SP.
I know how and why my SP developed, but it certainly didn't develop at one particular moment in time. Rather, it was a gradual process of changing from a perfectly "happy and normal" person into someone feeling very much apart from other people and low in self-confidence. The process took a few years before I would say it became an actual phobia.
There's no single moment which triggered my SP, it was a gradual decline. Reliving the many bad experiences simply brings back all the bad feelings, but doesn't cure anything.
I'd be very careful about believing a hypnotherapist if he says that he cures SP, particularly if he's charging £50 a pop. I'd be seeking out independent people who claim to have been cured of SP using hynotherapy. If you can find a few genuine examples, then perhaps it's worth pursuing.
But as far as I'm concerned, the real cure for SP is to change your thinking, catching you automatic negative thinking, questioning it and consciously reversing it, whilst working on your self-esteem.
Digging up bad memories from the past is precisely what you need to avoid. That's just adding fuel to the fire. Surely it can only reinforce your SP, not help you rid yourself of it.
Joined: Aug 30, 2004 Posts: 189 Location: United Kingdom
Posted: Sun Mar 13, 2005 8:04 pm Post subject:
Quote:
according to my hypnotist, when you realise the defining moment that caused the social phobia it just kinda goes. he claims to have never had a case where it didnt work but then again he gets 50 quid a session so he would say that.
I believe I am living proof that realising what caused a phobia can lead you to cure it. I never used professionals, but a trigger event in my life made me question the way I'd always perceived things, so I went through that process by myself, and because I made realisations consciously at first, it's taken about two years to get to the point where the 'general' side of my phobia has gone (meaning I don't care what anyone thinks about me apart from a few individuals who somehow became objects of fear almost independent from the original phobia). Like pitkreet, my phobia wasn't an overnight occurrence. I have found several causes that were ongoing throughout my early life, however understanding my exact thought processes at that time consciously felt like a huge revelation, like I'd woken up for the first time since I could remember existing. My subconscious, which is of course where the fear comes from, took more convincing, as it had taken years to be fully convinced of the implications of what it learnt about me and my relationship to others. If I'd given up when the fear didn't all go straight away, I'm sure I'd still be trapped in that nightmare. Thankfully, I stuck with it.
For the first time ever, I faced disapproval and the fear was less instead of as usual - more - bad than previously. It was still there, because my brain couldn't just end a survival mechanism because 'I' now thought it was safe to. It tested it. Little by little, as each experience that was normally horrible for me wasn't reinforced as horrible by my own conscious thought processes, but instead by me reminding it why it had just been wrong all those other times, the vicious cycle that causes anticipation anxiety to get worse with each experience came to halt and began to reverse. This was my subconscious unlearning the negative association and therefore negative reaction. I could feel it happening, and could hardly wait for the challenge, knowing that eventually I would squash the fear into nothing.
Logically, if you talk directly to your subconscious first, instead of letting it learn by your example as I did, the same should happen but much faster. It usually doesn't respond to having thoughts thrust upon it - it wants proof before it'll believe you. However when hypnotised you're so suggestible you'll believe anything, so if done right I can see how a fear would 'just go'. That's my opinion.
Quote:
Waste of time… If we focus on how and why we developed our social anxiety, and analyze our problems to death it will just make it worst in the end. If you focus on strategies and cognitive methods to get better you can over come SP. I am slowly learning this myself and it's me helping out.
Quote:
Reliving the many bad experiences simply brings back all the bad feelings, but doesn't cure anything.
worth pursuing.
Digging up bad memories from the past is precisely what you need to avoid. That's just adding fuel to the fire. Surely it can only reinforce your SP, not help you rid yourself of it.
I won't deny that memories can be painful detrimental to recovery, but you don't have to analyse your problems as in dwell on how many times it's made you suffer - your subconscious does that for you lol. Just a little consideration of what kinds of emotions other than the obvious fear it is that you get, when you remember first experiencing it, and then what caused it should help, because you’ll know exactly where your perception of reality has been distorted, and can then work on making your perceptions accurate again. ‘Know your enemy.’ According to dictionary.com, cognitive therapy is ‘A form of psychotherapy using imagery, self-instruction, and related techniques to alter distorted attitudes and perceptions.’ That’s what that trigger event did for me: forced me to recognise that my view of people was based on misplaced emotions. As I’ve said, it’s taken two years for me to crack this thing fully, because my subconscious didn’t know what to make of this whole set of new concepts (which still came bit by bit, I didn’t understand everything straight away). Only experience taught it which emotions it didn’t need to give me. Hypnotism can be used to speed this up and enhance cognitive therapy. What better way to understand what your misconceptions are than to see them developing before your eyes in a state of complete concentration?
_________________ 'Be a first rate version of yourself, not a second rate version of someone else' ~ Liza Minnelli
Joined: Jan 14, 2005 Posts: 218 Location: United Kingdom
Posted: Sun Mar 13, 2005 8:45 pm Post subject:
MRnomates wrote:
feelings which are emotions your choosing not to deal with them you have to accept these bad emotions to get over it surely!
deal with them? what does that mean?
i'm saying that you have to change your automatic thinking...it doesn't matter how you got to where you are, the past is gone, you need to change how you currently think
reliving past experiences doesn't change how you think now...it amy help you understand how you became SP, but it won't actuallly cure it
by all means, indugle yourself in your past miseries, but at some point, you're going to have to change your automatic negative thinking
maybe a hypnotist can do that for you, but i seriously doubt it
I tried hypnotherapy before I new what sp was but the symptoms were what I was trying to cure. I found my mind a complete blank whenever we tried, I couldn't find a way to calm down enough.but alone I can visualise things much easier. so for me it didn't work but I can see how it can, as she is helping me to comunicate with my subconcious.. but for some reason I wouldn't let her in. So she sent me off and said one day I will be able to understand it all as she was a firm believer that a single event can be the trigger. I don't know if I totally believe that so maybe that hurt the process aswell.
Joined: Nov 22, 2004 Posts: 43 Location: United States of America
Posted: Sun Mar 13, 2005 11:37 pm Post subject:
MRnomates wrote:
You seem to know the score Michelob what problems have you got or had SP did u have therapy?
Thanks, while I'm no expert I do think that I have learned and know a lot about the human mind and how it works. First of all, I avoid labels at all costs- if you label yourself a social phobic, or think of your phobia as if it's something real and tangible, you're going to have a much more difficult time getting over it. I prefer to say, "In certain situations I tend to feel feelings of fear."
I'm in high school, and my fears make it an ordeal to get through! I go through school days in constant fear because group situations are the worst for me.Most of my classes demand that I give presentations every once and a while, and these are terrible experiences for me. I get up in front of the class, my whole starts shaking uncontrollably, and I can barely get through the presentations. When I'm sitting in class I'm terrified of getting called on by the teacher.
Mrnomates- we've been talking about two different things. I've been talking about nlp (neuro linguistic programming) and you've been talking about something called neuro emotional technique. I went to that sight and I recognize many of their principles, so I would recommend that too if you can find a practioner.
Stay hopefull Mrnomates- from what you've told me, your situation is the most easily solved! If there's specific memories that bother you severely, use that nlp technique I told you about! Your problem might very well disappear.
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