Joined: Mar 20, 2008 Posts: 127 Location: California
Posted: Sun Jun 29, 2008 8:41 pm Post subject:
This is something that never bothered me much.... if it happens it happens but try not to worry about it. Just gets you down stressing over it. While I don't think any girl would care for my looks (I get a number of complements on my lips though... I hate my lips though... and usually its the girl going man I wish I had those lips... so as a guy I don't think thats a good thing), I'm to afraid to ask anyone out. Maybe when I grow out of my social rabbit hole, I'll think about it more. But at the moment, its hard to do anything where you're putting yourself forward and you know people are going to judge you as soon as you step out (like job interviews, asking a girl out etc).
I have this weird thing,that I think every girl who likes me is out there just to hurt me emotionally,the prettier the girl the stronger the feeling.
Wow... I have that exact issue. That's really weird, but makes me feel good in a way, because someone else actually can relate!
To Arg... Do you really have "nothing" to offer? I think you are "disqualifying the positive" to borrow a term from those lame SP books lol... but seriously, I think you should sit down and try to make a list (think hard) of things you DO have to offer women. Anything.
First of all, after reading your post I have noticed that not only are you able to express your feelings through writing, but you have spelled everything correctly! THAT IS HUGE!!!!! I honestly don't know if I could see myself ever being with a girl who couldn't spell. It's a huge pet peeve of mine, and I'm sure lots of women out there feel the same way. So that's one thing, albeit small. I don't really know you, so it would be hard for me to come up with positive ideas here... but I suspect that you really do have more to offer women than you may realize.
So you don't have a large circle of friends, and you are not an extrovert. Those are only TWO things that you DON'T have to offer women. Everything else about you can be considered something you DO have to offer women. Are you a good listener? Are you nice? Caring? Helpful? Attentive? Passionate? Smart? Altruistic? etc.
I bet you are all those things and more. You just can't see these things in yourself because your brain is in negative mode. I know it sounds corny, but I believe that.
Are you a good listener? Are you nice? Caring? Helpful? Attentive? Passionate? Smart? Altruistic? etc.
I bet you are all those things and more. You just can't see these things in yourself because your brain is in negative mode. I know it sounds corny, but I believe that.
peace
Thank you. I'm some of those things, except being smart. I'm a good listener, but when I'm anxious I can't follow a conversation.
Posted: Tue Jul 01, 2008 7:27 am Post subject: Re: I feel I have nothing to offer women
Argamemnon wrote:
The main reason for me being single (love-shy) is that I feel I have absolutely nothing to offer people. I feel like I don't deserve a relationship, since I'm socially inept. Why on earth would any woman want to marry someone like me? And this also applies to having friends; why would anyone want to be friends with me? Do you feel the same?
you also need to talk to a lot of women, men tend to initiate the first contact for most of the part and im currently working on that, anyways if they like you they'll open up to u. but u gots to take risk...
Joined: May 03, 2005 Posts: 1148 Location: England
Posted: Sat Jul 19, 2008 1:41 pm Post subject:
In time when I even have a part time job, or go to uni maybe my life will resemble at least something. I'd feel embarassed for a girl to see my life i really would.
Last edited by Pinker on Mon Jul 21, 2008 10:41 pm; edited 1 time in total
I have this weird thing,that I think every girl who likes me is out there just to hurt me emotionally,the prettier the girl the stronger the feeling.
I don't think they want to hurt me but the better people look, the more they disslike me.
_________________ Stop making kids.
Compulsory sterilization is good.
More security. Less freedom.
The word "cowardly" is often used as another word for effectivly.
I've always felt inferior somehow... my body is fragile, you know i have very thin arms and legs and even though i am not so short i feel like i cant manage to stand tall next to a lady... i have great respect for women cos at the end of the day whenever i tried to talk to someone it was usually the ladies that showed more care towards me... Kind of saw me better than others... I am timid and shy, and i can easily get scared of things... my heart goes cold when something uncomfortable happens... Thats why i think i cant offer anything to a lady... A beautiful caring woman needs someone who deserves to stand next to her...Not someone who gets tense around her cos he is too eager to make her feel special and he can't cos of his anxiety and poor body... I'm just meant to be alone...i've cried for years in loneliness but there is no light to guide me... I came across this great song last night from the movie 'High school musical' and i couldnt stop the tears... the lyrics just blew me away...
Joined: May 03, 2005 Posts: 1148 Location: England
Posted: Fri Jul 25, 2008 12:32 pm Post subject:
CK23 wrote:
I've always felt inferior somehow... my body is fragile, you know i have very thin arms and legs and even though i am not so short i feel like i cant manage to stand tall next to a lady... i have great respect for women cos at the end of the day whenever i tried to talk to someone it was usually the ladies that showed more care towards me... Kind of saw me better than others... I am timid and shy, and i can easily get scared of things... my heart goes cold when something uncomfortable happens... Thats why i think i cant offer anything to a lady... A beautiful caring woman needs someone who deserves to stand next to her...Not someone who gets tense around her cos he is too eager to make her feel special and he can't cos of his anxiety and poor body... I'm just meant to be alone...i've cried for years in loneliness but there is no light to guide me... I came across this great song last night from the movie 'High school musical' and i couldnt stop the tears... the lyrics just blew me away...
How old are you? It's not even a big deal like you think it is, but when you talk about being thin, maybe your body hasn't filled out yet.
I think that if you feel you have nothing to offer you should spend some time observing couples. I'm sure you will see many nice women with short men who aren't that attractive. The only difference between you and them is you have social anxiety and they don't. If you work on it there's no reason why you can't have a nice girlfriend. Of course this will be very tough but nonetheless achievable. Just remember a lot of the time when we make excuses e.g. I am too short e.t.c. it is because we want to come up with reasons why we don't have to work hard and suffer to overcome SA.
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