Can't cope with this feeling of dislike from people

krs2snow · Advanced User Joined: Jan 25, 2008 Posts: 322

If I only knew...
I would look upon myself with the highest esteem.
If I only knew, I would talk more.
If I only knew, I would laugh more.
If I only knew, I would listen more.
If I only knew, I would respect others more.
If I only knew, I would interact with others more.
If I only knew, I would allow others to interact w/me... more.
If I only knew, I would cherish myself.
If I only knew, I would respect life... more.

longhairedgirl · Newbie User Joined: Aug 29, 2008 Posts: 6

hi im new but i just wanted to add something to this

recently i spent a few months in another country and spent a lot of it drinking to be able to talk to people which resulting in me becoming so paranoid i felt like i was going completely mad anyway to cut a long story short i woke up in hospital one morning and spent a lot of nights out just drinking water and i was convinced everyone didnt like me but it turned out that people liked me and were really friendly to me and i do regret now convincing myself no one really liked me

anyway my point sometimes we do convince ourselves people dont like us because its easier sometimes its a good thing i have met people in my time who i have tried to be friendly too but they are polite to me and nothing else and then i find out that they are not the nicest people and have stabbed a lot of people in the back to use the expression

i myself only want to be friends with people that genuinely like me and i have no time for false friends

oh dear i really have got to stop leaving such long post Rolling Eyes

Pinker · Posted: Fri Aug 29, 2008 5:40 pm Post subject:

I'm so paranoid of what people think.

beckiboo · Posted: Mon Sep 08, 2008 1:46 pm Post subject:

if these people cant be bothered with you, why should you bother with them? I dont see why you should waste time and energy trying to get these people's approval when, as horrible as it is, they just might not like you...I have people that dont like me for whatever or no reason, I just forget them and concentrate on the people I do get on with. You cant be liked by everyone in your life, some people are just nasty and youre better off not letting them affect you, I say! Very Happy

A-UK-Lovelly · Newbie User Joined: Sep 08, 2008 Posts: 14

first things first. stop thinking. forget about yeaterday, now step into today.
first of all, the accusation that all these people dislike you is going to instantly make you react to these people as if they dont like you, eg your going to be defensive and untrusting. would you want to talk to someone who was defensive to you or thought u were up to something?
im assuming thats a no. so tomorow. no body likes you but no body dislikes you, they all have blank canvases for you to paint your opinions on. you dont need to be all chaty chatty tomorow, keep it work related for now, that makes you comfortable and it builds trust when you work well in your team. let it flow naturally, dont try and out doo yourself, or try to impress anyone, your not on this earth to entertain others, your there to get payed and while doing so, to feel safe.

All i can really say is. if u think its gone to far for you to change the dynamics of ur work relationships, find another job, and start again. Or learn to except not everyone is going to love you for simply being there. to build relationships with people takes alot of effort on both parties. its takes showing geniun interest in people. its not your fault, but its niave to think you can be somewhere and not say anything to people, and for them be running over to you for chats. its not going to happen. sorry thats just honest. so dont blame yourself, or them. coz its noones fault. they dont hate you, they just dont have a relationship with you. hope that makes sense to you. although i think alot of your emotions and thoughts stem from the depression, which makes it hard for you to see things in true form, i understand that.

If you want things in life, you have to go get it. if you wait for it to come to you, you will be waiitng a lifetime.