Alcohol!

lynchcas · Newbie User Joined: Jul 27, 2008 Posts: 1

I use to be like you guys. It starts out that way but guess what? Now I drink every single day. Not only am I dealing with sp I'm pretty much a drunk. This shit is not ok. If you can find the strength I would encourage you to find other ways to relax. I never thought I would end up this way but I have and my life is fucking hell now.

Shaun · Posted: Fri Aug 22, 2008 10:27 am Post subject:

Hi I am new to the board, I needed to say a few things here. I have to agree with Lynchas, I have lived with SA since I was 15. I am 43 now. Early on I discovered booze helped me to "get normal" but we don't drink for the same reasons that other people do. The resulting hangover will magnify your anxiety greatly. That can lead to picking up another drink as soon as you wake up. Trust me it is horrible. I spent years trapped in this cycle. Just wanting to be normal and go out and party. For awhile alchohol will allow you to do that but there is a heavy price to pay. God I hate myself for sounding like such a boring old doomsayer. I have been taking propanolol for some years, it helps a lot to keep the panic away, but doesnt help with the negative feelings. I got to the stage twice in my life where I went to AA for help with my drinking. It didnt help me as it just reinforced the idea that I wasnt normal. I only drink occasionally now and I have to be very aware that If I over do it I will be so anxious the following day I will need a coupla drinks to take the edge off. That can easily lead to getting trapped again. I do not want to live like that. So now I am looking at other ways to deal with the SA.

Shaun

longhairedgirl · Newbie User Joined: Aug 29, 2008 Posts: 6

hi

i've just joined and i can completely relate to what everyone is saying

I used to love to drink because everyone saw me as this party girl and used to tell me how much fun i am and i would talk to anyone with no thoughts of what they're thinking about me after the night out i would not leave the house for up to 3 days because i couldnt remember the whole night and i used to worry people with laughing at me but that was never the case apparently

anyway i went travelling with my sister i know sounds like something i would never have done but i guess i felt safe because i was with her but she isnt particulary understanding about my social anxiety and kind of abandoned me 2 weeks into our travelling she met a man and fell head over heels for him cue me spending a lot of time alone missing meals because i didnt want to go to a restaurant to eat most meals alone
she also decided it would be good for me to take the ferry to the next island to go to immigration and she would go the next day luckily that didnt happen because i worked out a lot cheaper for us to go together but the thought terrified she thought i was being stupid and told me i was pathetic

anyway she got a job in a bar and i used to go everynight and drink a lot so i could talk to people and then it became a habit and i just drank so much everynight for months id wake up scared to leave my room because i couldnt remember what i had happened the night before i had false memories where i was convinced that local girls had started a fight with me and wanted to kill me (it never happened) i made a few real friends but i still couldnt stop the drinking. i did stupid things like falling asleep on the bar outside a bar outside a restaurant by my room id forget that id even met people the night before and then ignore them in the street because i didnt know them i thought i got such bad alcohol paranoia one night that i fell asleep on a bar and 2 tourists took me to hospital in a taxi i woke up in the morning still drunk and had to get 2 taxis back to my room i didnt drink for 2 weeks well only a couple Embarassed

the last few weeks we were there i tried to overcome it and drank little and i realised that people liked me the same when i was sober because i was still happy and friendly unfortunately the last night before we left for the flight home i fell off the wagon and got drunk to the point of not remembering leaving the bar.

sorry for the long post thanks if you read it all

anyway my point is alcohol is just a quick fix solution and not a long term one i've realised that the people who only like me when i'm drunk dont feel the same about me when im sober as im quiet and worry a lot about stuff also my other point is i was very very lucky i was never hurt, attacked or injured in anyway during the drink binges but i was very very lucky

i believe it is ok to have a few drinks and i mean 3 total to take the edge off but i never want to go back to drinking like that again

thanks for reading

Smile

sabbath92003 · Posted: Fri Aug 29, 2008 12:00 pm Post subject:

Elulla · Newbie User Joined: Feb 07, 2007 Posts: 22 Location: UK

wow!! i only just found these posts and i relate to them sooo well, everyone likes me when i've had a few drinks hell i like myself half the time to. i have drank to much for to long in my younger years but i have kids now so i can't do that anymore, but i find myself drinking more and more when stuff seems to be going bad for me, what i tend to do is mix it with music it depends on my mood as to the music i listen to (when i'm on my own), but it seems to help me, makes me cry if that's what i need at the time. but i do get scared that it will get worse some times when i feel like i'm going through a really bad patch (which i am at the moment) but then when you see the same people on a sober day that you 'partied with' the night before they seem to react to me in a different way, so they only wanna be my ''friend'' when i've had a drink or three!! and i know that if that's really the way they are not friends and unfortunately it has led me to put myself in some bad situations. sorry, not sure what else to add now i had it all in my head what i was gonna say but it's all gone lol. but thanks for reading that bit so far !!