You're right, propranolol doesn't really help much on the psychological level, but it atleast if you can cut down on your physical s/a symptoms, psychologically you will feel much better, more confident, and this could lead to a snowball effect.
But I really like your advice on combining medication with CBT. It can't hurt your chances to overcome s/a. Hopefully soon enough i'll be able to get the courage and seek CBT.
_________________ **** Embrace this moment...Remember...We are eternal...All this pain is an illusion ****
I'm starting work again on sunday, and once a month I have to meet with one of the managers 1 on 1 for about 30 minutes where we have to talk. The lady is HOT! My anxiety goes trough the roof every time we have one of these meeting, my heart beats like crazy, I sweat like crazy and I can hardly put 3 words together. I always end up feeling depressed and embarrassed when I leave her desk. I have the meeting on sunday, and I hope the Inderal can make a difference.
Sunday September 28th
Last night (saturday) I didn't take any Inderal. Went training in the afternoon, then went to a friends house. Played poker, drank some beer and then we later decided to do some cocaine. I know...I'm not proud. Although cocaine is something I rarely do (it was my 3rd time) lately I've been smoking (weed) and drinking more.
Drugs, alcohol, hookers...some of the "good" things which have occupied my time lately. It seems that more time goes by, the more these things have a more important place in my life. Would it be different if I didn't have s/a ? I think so. But still, I haven't gotten to the point that I'd really abuse of any of that, I have my limits. I don't see myself going with that type of life style, I'd rather be married, raise kids, get a house, go on vacations, have a nice a job, earn a good/honest money, spend time with family and friends...be happy.
So...last night, after drinking and sniffing I finally got home around 2am. I couldn't sleep at all...I went to work the next morning (sunday) with 0 hours of sleep and I had my 1-1 meeting. I decided to up the dose and take 60mg, 1 and a half pills.
It definitely helped, even tough I was feeling nervous during the meeting I did much better than I thought I would, specially with 0 hours of sleep. I managed to make things not too awkward and overall I'm satisfied with how things went.
I realized that as soon as something triggers the anxiety in me, I always get the same physical symptoms : Heart pounding, heavy sweat, not being able to talk/think properly. Inderal completely eliminates the heart pounding, it's non-existant. Doing that kinda helps with the not being able to talk/think properly, as when your heart is beating at a normal speed, you feel overall more relaxed, more in control, so you get to think more clearly. But still those symptoms are still there, just 10 times less. As for the sweating, today at some point during the meeting I did sweat, but less than usual it was all in control.
Side effects: I think my body might be slowly getting used to the drug, as even by adding to my dosage for 60mg, and with 0 hours of sleep...I didn't feel to tired (under the circumstances), my eyes didn't feel as dry as usual....side effects weren't really an issue.[/quote]
_________________ **** Embrace this moment...Remember...We are eternal...All this pain is an illusion ****
Joined: Jun 02, 2008 Posts: 280 Location: Australia
Posted: Tue Sep 30, 2008 10:02 am Post subject:
I dont see why you bother taking meds to help when you abusing other drugs ?
I was on betta blockers when I was 16 and I think it was to stop the blushing. Didnt really do much but NO bloody meds have.
Umm but good luck anyway
Ive never done coke but I cant imagine anyone reliably being able to judge the effects of such a subtle med on themselves after a night of doing cocaine and not sleeping at all. Not being condescending, just sayin.
It' been about 3 weeks since I last posted. Here's an update and my thoughts in general.
Inderal does help in stressful situations. But it's not a solution for my anxiety as it's still there even when I take it. It has no effect on the psychological level. The only thing it does is block your heart from racing or going fast, and calms you down. In my case, the racing heart is one of the anxiety symptoms I get, but the sweating is the worst of all. And Inderal does not help with my sweating.
When I take Inderal on a day to day basis I become really exhausted, tired, feel lazy, don't have much motivation. That's without mentioning my mind becomes cloudy and foggy. I don't see myself improving my quality of life taking this drug everyday.
What I do is always keep one pill on me, so whenever I'm about to face a stressful situation, I take it. I try not to take it at work or on my days off. I take it for school.
I'll definitely have to find a solution for my sweating, and just that will be a hard task...I looked at the HH forum and I realized it's not an easy thing to do.
_________________ **** Embrace this moment...Remember...We are eternal...All this pain is an illusion ****
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