Self harm

Neebo · Posted: Wed Jul 06, 2005 2:20 pm Post subject: Self harm

Sometimes I get really frustrated and pissed off with myself because of my SA/SP Mad

Sometimes when I do,I have a tendency to self harm myself Embarassed

Its just things like cutting and slashing myself with Knives or scissors. Last year I went a little bit further than cutting myself. I was coming back from an important errand and I was just having negative responses from people,like fake coughs and sniffs and I even thought everyone was laughing at me and critizing me Sad

I was having a really bad day that day Mad

Anyway when I got home I was so angry with myself for the way I felt I got a hammer and I beat my legs black and blue,I was just so angry with myself infact I hated myself Evil or Very Mad

After about five very hard hits I collapsed in agony infact I thought I'd actually broken my legs. The next day I had two massive,nasty looking bruises on my thighs where I'd hit them repeatedly. I could barely stand for a few days afterwards,it was agony to walk. But at the time I was just so frustrated and angry with myself,that I hated myself and I had to find some way of releasing that inner,pent up frustration Sad

And by doing that through pain,it felt like a good release Sad

I know it was a crazy,fucked up thing to do,but at the time I just had so much inner anger inside me that became so unbearable that I just had to find a way of releasing it. Can anyone here relate to how I feel?

jerim · Posted: Wed Jul 06, 2005 2:27 pm Post subject:

yeah i only experience this ... i think alot of here goes through this.I have a different way beside hurting myself.Try to get yourself occupied...i like u get miserable lately.. u just have this feeling suppressed and wanted to let it all out.I have been very easily frustrated and angry lately so i try to keep away from my family member.I feel that dont hurt yourself.. cos u are hurting them as well so refrain from hurting yourself.You dont want ur parents hurt also right?

outside_looking_in · Posted: Wed Jul 06, 2005 3:06 pm Post subject:

I had a friend (lost touch now) who cut her arms for years, as well as being bulimic and having major issues with her mum; she was helped a lot by CBT and last I knew she was getting things together.

I just used my nails! ... clawed my arms so much I had rows of little lines (that's when I didn't have infected eczema), and on every home video you see me scratching away frantically. But I managed to get out of that ... and I know it's not on the same scale as Neebo's situation ... you tried a punchbag or something? sounds like you need to externalise all that frustration, but safely!!

LittleMissScareAll · Expert User Joined: Jun 15, 2005 Posts: 716 Location: Hell

usually I bite or scratch myself, but sometimes I use other sharp objects.

Tirta · Posted: Tue Jul 12, 2005 2:13 am Post subject:

Once i use pen to hurt my self (sometimes i used my nail too), when i feel really scare and angry (because i don't understand why i was so scare) i hurt myself.[/u]

thoughtless · Posted: Tue Jul 12, 2005 2:52 am Post subject:

I used to cut myself after my girlfriend and I broke up. I felt so miserable that at night I would go to my garage, grab a box cutter and shredd my arms. I did it for some time.

Actually, the only thing you have to gain with cutting yourself is a bunch of scars on your arms/legs/wherever you do it. It relieves you... Temporarily. When you wake up next morning you'll find out you have all these marks on your arms and your situation didn't get any better.

Really people, cutting yourself won't do anything. Just think about 10 years from now when your life finally seems to be "normal" but your scars won't go away? You'll have those physical marks forever, and for what? For venting when you were younger? It's not worth it.

ColdFury · Posted: Tue Jul 12, 2005 5:00 am Post subject:

thoughtless · Posted: Tue Jul 12, 2005 5:09 am Post subject:

If you think it won't, it won't...

Low expectations won't help you fight it.

Hellraising · Intermediate User Joined: Apr 07, 2005 Posts: 260

Oh god, Neebo. Please don't do that again. You could really injure yourself. Self harming is not the way to deal with things, even when things go horribly wrong and you feel that hurting yourself is the only way. Maybe you could try venting your anger and frustrations on something else? Like for example, punching inanimate objects, or simply just letting the tears out. I know it's really hard not to take the 'easy way' out at times, but do try your best.

rfnatboy · Posted: Tue Jul 12, 2005 3:03 pm Post subject:

I used to punch my arms and legs . Id have bruises all over and the pain did temporaley overcome my mental pain .