omg what the hell! why does my friend feel the need to come over without calling first! and then being all pissed that i didnt answer the door quickly enough. i mean, i couldve been in the shower or something. and she didnt actually say she was mad, but i could hear her outside calling my name all annoyed.
and then the hoe wanted to stay to chat! like is she serious? sorry im not explaining the whole story but i didnt want her to stay. and thank god she didnt. she just wanted to bitch at me about someone else for like 5 minutes and left.
thank god she didnt wanna use the computer cause i had the chat up and the forum. i dont want her to see it! _________________ giggity giggity giggity http://sleepyb88.livejournal.com/
Joined: Mar 24, 2008 Posts: 127 Location: 21 year old male from Mandal, Norway
Posted: Mon Apr 14, 2008 12:47 am Post subject:
Brace yourselves. This is going to be one self-sentered and whiny post.
I'm going to start out by saying how much I hate that I suck at expressing my feelings with words. This much: |-----------|
It'll probably take me 1-2 hours just to write this post, and the end result will still not be 100% accurate.
I've grown tired of all my music. My taste in music is very limited. I like a few bands alot, and a few songs from other artists, but that's it. I like to listen to my music every waking hour, unless I'm watching a video/TV show/Movie. I very rarely like something if someone pushes it onto me. When people tell me about songs or artists they think I should try out, I usually just automatically hate them.
I know this is a very destructive way of thinking, but what can I do about it? lol
Just now, I realized that I hardly ever laugh anymore. "lol" has become meaningless, and I catch myself using it way too much, when, in fact, I'm not laughing at all, I just didn't know what else to say.
Summer is coming up. There is only one thing I like about the summer:
*Driving up to a lake with my friends to go swimming.
Things I DON'T like about the summer:
*Couples holding hands, kissing, flaunting their happiness in front of me.
*The heat.
*Beautiful people usually become even more beautiful, and tend to take off their clothes to show it off.
*Getting sunburned or just not getting a tan while everyone else does.
*I feel even more exposed since it's so bright outside. Hard to hide.
Another thing that really pisses me off is how every day is exactly the same, and I don't see any progress.
I don't have anything to look forward to, and there is no light at the end of the tunnel. All I ever do is struggle to survive another day of misery. I have no hopes, dreams or ambitions, except maybe meeting someone special someday. But then again, who would want me in my current, self loathing, state? It's a vicious circle, and I know that if only I had some sort of motivation, I could break free. But I really don't know where to start, and it's frustrating. My therapist doesn't seem to understand me, and just wants me to "get out there" and put myself in a social situation. Well, guess what? I can't. Not on my own.
I have tried many different therapists, all equally useless to me.
I'm so sick of not being able to relate to most people's interests and discussions. Sick of feeling alone all the time (even among friends), and sick of feeling like I can't do anything about it. Whenever I try to do something with my life, I end up screwing it up or avoiding it. Every time I try and fail, I feel worse than I did before I tried.
I curse the fact that I am socially crippled, and my own worst enemy.
i get really annoyed because all people ever do is complain to me because i just listen(im not one to voice my opinon) and whenever i try to complain about my issues they just turn it in to theirs. so yes i like to complain whenever im able to because i never get to. my life sucks, my friends want me around but treat me like crap, my parents ignore me, and i absolutley hate school and want to drop out even though im only in 9th grade but i guess what kid doesnt. well i have more to complain about but i guess thats enogh for now.
ive been bitching in the chat room, but i really need to stop feeling that room with all that negative crap.
So basically, im in a GO FUCK YOURSELF, kind of mood. ...thats me right now.
maybe i should get drunk... and then call my friend to tell her how i REALLLY feel about her. ill be like.....Hey GIRLFRIENDDD....just wanted to call to say i fucking hate you and i dont wanna be friend anymore.... ya i wish. i wish she would move far far FARRR away. so we can just drift apart even more then we have already.
Why am i putting myself through this shit for???? its totally not normal to be so unhappy about a "friend". she really affects me way more then she should. Why did i have to be born...made into a coward. someone who cant tell people the truth. ok im done... _________________ giggity giggity giggity http://sleepyb88.livejournal.com/
Posted: Tue May 06, 2008 3:25 am Post subject: Re: Do you Enjoy Complaining?
black_mamba wrote:
Today I was handed a comment form for my university. Since I'm in my final year and been at this uni for almost 4 years now, I had a lot of complaints to unload.
Same here. I'm also in my last year at Uni and we were given a link to the National Student Survey website, the last part of the survey being negative and positive comments. Needless to say, my negative comments section was very long and in depth. The annoying thing was, I typed it all out and submitted it, but they keep sending me prompts to fill it in, and I get the feeling it wasn't processed correctly. Perhaps I complained more than it could handle?
Joined: Feb 24, 2008 Posts: 102 Location: MARS, dont came after me
Posted: Sun May 11, 2008 8:05 pm Post subject:
I HATE PEOPLE THAT FORCE ME TO DO THINGS I DONT WANT.
Agrrrrrrrrrrrr.
I realy hate having to do something i have no interest in doing, that tells me nothing, that doesnt motivate me one little bit, just because someone thinks I should.
I hate my old boss for not respecting my will, for not listen to me wen I say NO!!
I dont want to have a successfull career!
I dont want to be big!
I dont want responsability!
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...thats me right now.
Perhaps I complained more than it could handle? 
