blink12: Speaking what's on one's mind is tough for a lot of people.
Could it be an assertiveness thing, maybe? I'm glad you don't have any problems without going out or anything like that. If you were afraid you might have SA, then not having problems with going out and doing things and having a life in general is a good sign
Masterpiece2: Shyness is not an illness. You might be frustrated beyond words by it, but it's not an illness. Did shyness lower your self-esteem or was it low to begin with? Shyness, however extreme, can and has been overcome without the use of medication. SA requires medication for any real degree of normal social functioning. The topic of how much words matter interests you. What effect do you think telling yourself that "shyness is an illness that I have" has on your self esteem?
And now to clarify something, because this is starting to annoy me. I did not accuse anybody of diagnosing anybody. In so many words, yetis responded to the original post with "sounds like social phobia". This was after I had said "doesn't sound like social phobia". As a second thought, and because of the immediate contradicting opinions offered, I simply said "a good rule of thumb is: don't let people on an internet forum diagnose you". yetis seems to have taken offense to it for whatever reason and made an issue of it. There is no issue here. I stand by my advice to not let unqualified people in a forum diagnose you, but I think the discussion is past that anyway.
Joined: Feb 10, 2005 Posts: 1831 Location: United States of America
Posted: Wed Dec 28, 2005 5:35 pm Post subject:
there's so many different degrees of SA, i've been on and off meds, i'm in the process of getting off them now, i'm keeping my fingers crossed that i can stay off them for good!
but i don't think everyone neccesarily needs to be on meds. i think the therapist that says that is just prescription happy.
Definition " A disorder that results in extreme anxiety in social situations. Those who suffer from social phobia experience intense and disabling self-consciousness in these situations. People with social phobia have an intense and persistent feeling of being watched, judged, and evaluated in a negative manner."
The last sentence is the key. These are irrational thoughts, but very real to someone suffering from Social Phobia. I've suffered these feelings for 30 years. If you find yourself avoiding situations for these reasons it's a good bet you have Social Phobia
Joined: Oct 24, 2005 Posts: 115 Location: New Zealand
Posted: Fri Dec 30, 2005 2:27 am Post subject:
B wrote:
A distinction I was taught to make was between social anxiety disorder, which is an actually illness, from extreme shyness which is not. The symptoms seem the same at first. I self-diagnosed. That self-diagnosis was "verified" by unqualified people on the internet, and then officially diagnosed as SA. The diagnosis was wrong.
So you really would be best to check with the professional, blink. Nervousness (or even terror) with giving solo presentations is no strong indicator of SA. That's a fear most people have. Likewise choking in front of the opposite sex.
I've always understood that social phobia is just the clinical term for extreme shyness (as opposed to common shyness, which is not as debilitating).
Do you have any web sites that you could point me to that explains the difference between social anxiety disorder and extreme shyness that you mentioned?
The following sites seem to suggest they are one and the same:
Joined: Oct 24, 2005 Posts: 115 Location: New Zealand
Posted: Fri Dec 30, 2005 2:43 am Post subject: Re: Am I shy or is it social phobia?
blink12 wrote:
Each time I get called in class to say something or present, or whenever Im under pressure to say something, I usually: have troubles speaking, sometimes I even stutter a bit, I start sweating a lot, and my heart starts beating very rapidly, I feel like you do when adrenaline starts kicking in.
<snip>
But whenever it's just something like small talk I can't really relate well to other people and it's very hard to speak my mind.
And also, often if I know that I'll have to speak a lot in class (say, do a presentation ALONE - I feel better presenting with other people), I'll have second-thoughts about actually going to that class, so sometimes I skip classes on purpose if I know I'll have to do a lot of socializing.
Is this shyness or is it a form of social phobia? (Note that Im not as bad as some people, such as the people that can't even go into a public place such as a store and ask for help, I can do these things fine just like a normal person). Thanks
I think, and I stress this is just my unprofessional opinion, that this is a clear case of social phobia. The key points being:
- "have troubles speaking, sometimes I even stutter a bit, I start sweating a lot, and my heart starts beating very rapidly, I feel like you do when adrenaline starts kicking in."
- "second-thoughts about actually going to that class, so sometimes I skip classes on purpose if I know I'll have to do a lot of socializing"
People who are just shy experience some anxiety, but it's not as extreme as you describe. If it's bad enough for you to avoid certain situations, then it's SP.
Joined: Dec 23, 2005 Posts: 110 Location: Melbourne~Australia
Posted: Sat Jan 14, 2006 5:28 am Post subject:
i think it could be the begining of social phobia! i remember when i was at school in year 8 or 9 my english teacher would make us do oral presentations every thursday. i fucking hated it !!!! i done a couple that didnt go so well, so every thursday after that i would skip school. but apart from that i wasnt shy or nervous about anything else. as the years have gone by though i have gotten much worse. so what I'm saying is sp has to start somewhere & prehaps this is the begining of that. if i could go back to the past i would go get some help asap. that is my advice 2 U.
In my opinion you either have extreme shyness or the beginning stages of social phobia.
ONCE AGAIN, im not professional or a Dr., at least as far as I know So definitely dont assume this to be your "diagnosis".
But You remind me a lot of myself a few years ago. I thought i was shy and will just overcome it, but if i knew it would get worse I would have probably gone to see some one sooner.
I felt "safe" around my close friends. I was still happy, but I was living in a bubble. I could only do certain things, and what I knew I couldnt go threw I avoided (presentations) or if there was no way of getting around it, I would say as few things as possible to get it over with.
Up until a few months ago I could go to the grocery store, and shop just fine. But the thing with anxiety is that it can snowball into bigger things pretty quickly.
Dont let this scare you, and furthermore let me reiterrate that you really might just be shy. Either way, if you are wanting to be more extroverted, just do things every day to work towards this goal. ("Do something everyday that scares you") I would also watch carefully and if you feel anymore anxiety symptoms you may find it best to talk to a counselor about it.
Doing more research could help too. Just google social anxiety and read more about symptoms and see if they apply to you. Best of luck to you!!
Hey there blink 182. I can relate with ur situation, I think we have a similar problem. I'm not afraid of talking in public but I do find not so easy to talk to people I don't know, though I do it. I have a problem to speak my mind and relationate with people, but I have a normal life I guess. Though people can't tell but I'm suffering in the inside.
Blink, everything you described is the same with me, comfortable around people you know, have alot of friends, but all from previous years, havent made effort for new ones, and able to talk to store clerks, because its Set" I have trouble making eye contact with people cause I worry that they might think Im weird.. I dunno, I wonder what people think about me all the time its hard...
Hey can someone tell me if I they think I have social phobia-
I dont have an intense fear nessesarily but I get uncomfortable, nervous, and awkward. I dont have any friends (since my last two moved) and I feel I cant carry on a conversation. I fear that people think negatively of me or just view me as weird or unimportant. I feel very uncomfortable in social gatherings and my heart races when about to call someone, or I avoid it. I get nervous when people stare at me in the eye for longer than a second. I wish I had friends but at the same time I prefer to be alone and unseen by people (at school).
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i think it could be the begining of social phobia! i remember when i was at school in year 8 or 9 my english teacher would make us do oral presentations every thursday. i fucking hated it !!!! i done a couple that didnt go so well, so every thursday after that i would skip school. but apart from that i wasnt shy or nervous about anything else. as the years have gone by though i have gotten much worse. so what I'm saying is sp has to start somewhere & prehaps this is the begining of that. if i could go back to the past i would go get some help asap. that is my advice 2 U. 
So definitely dont assume this to be your "diagnosis".
