Share your short term goals and challenges

alicia_

Hi everyone,

I've has SA for as long as i can remember, have been through group therapy and been on medication. For the past say year ive just been managing on my own leading a pretty dull and simple yet very anxious life.

So i though with the help of others i could set small goals for myself. One was to phone a friend and arrange to meet her for lunch... the next is to go to the lunch and try to enjoy it.

I am really struggling at the moment that i am in my early 20's and have no social or intimate relationships. THis is meant to be a time full of carefree moments and partys. Hopefully these steps will help?? Ahhh putting this in writing is making me cry

hope to hear what your goals are and how you are staying motivated to not just give up and live in isolation (which is very easy to get used to)

Cheers Alicia

dzerklis · Advanced User Joined: Jan 06, 2006 Posts: 433

setting goals is a good method but only if you achieve them, thats why i almost never set them, just try to not avoid social situations that i have to or must face.

Septor · Elite User Joined: Dec 15, 2005 Posts: 1033

My own short term goal is to talk to more people when I go outside of my house and go back to school.

longlivesolitude · Intermediate User Joined: Dec 11, 2005 Posts: 127

I'm also living the simple life.

I think it's kind of hard to set goals with SA since I don't really avoid that many things - I don't think I my SA is so severe. Anyway.. I don't feel very good in social situations. Maybe I should try to see if I can contact other people more. Most of the SA is just going on inside my head.. negative thinking. So that's what I want to change.
I think it's easier to set goals in other parts of my life. I want to get in good physical shape so I go to the gym a couple of times a week (that's one of the places the SA kicks in.. feel like a freak)
), run 2-3 times a week and try to eat as healthy as possible. I've become quite entusiastic about my health Wink

I just think it's important not just going stand-by, but trying to acheive something - really boosts my life-enthusiasm.

alicia_ · Posted: Fri Mar 31, 2006 12:11 am Post subject:

Hey, thanks for all your posts

worrydoll - you have two great goals, for the first one i would start off at a quiet cafe or early in the morning (or you could jump in the deep end) and think how much the second one could boost your chances at a job and give you more confidence when going for interviews!

longlivesolitude - your soooo lucky that you dont seem to avoid doing many things!!! ive spent the last few years focusing on my fitness too and i think it really helps and it also gets me out of the house a few days a week. It is really great achieving those goals.

Septor - good luck for when you go back to school, are you on holidays or something??

Mondays goal - speek up at least 3 times in my tutorital, actually go to my lecture and try to find this girl i know from work and say hi, stay the whole day and not freak out and go home. This will be a pretty big day for me Smile

Tuesday - sit at the bar and listen to music for half an hour (this one will be hard)

the_secret_me · Posted: Sat Apr 01, 2006 4:51 am Post subject:

i think i need to stsrt being more confident around guys. maybe try to start a convo with a guy from school or some random i see. its really hard for me to get the confidence, but ill try.

alicia_ · Posted: Tue Apr 04, 2006 11:00 am Post subject:

Good for you worrydoll Very Happy

I on the other hand didnt make through my uni day on monday, although i did speak up in my tutorial many times as i like the subjetc and today i approached a girl i did group work with previoulsy (i did sweat a bit but got through it okay without quickly leaving)

Im very stressed out with uni atm coz we have mid term exams coming up. i have this problem of justifing my avoidant behaviour coz i figure i should be studying anyway. Does any one else do this?

And how do you differentiate laziness from avoidance behaviour. Like going to the gym for example sometimes i blame my anxiety but maybe its just laziness that 'normal' people feel?

For those of you who have had anxiety all your life, do you just feel that it could be apart of your personality/characterstics?? sometimes i question why i am trying to change this, maybe this is just who i am... which leads to the question of can you really change your innate traits?? Confused

Sorry for the mismatch of thoughts - just a few things on my mind and dealing with an anxiety disorder is getting very tiring Crying or Very sad

Hope my next post will be more uplifting Sad

alicia_ · Posted: Wed Apr 05, 2006 6:06 am Post subject:

Hey thanks worrydoll i have to say even though im not religious that quotes always inspires me. Thanks for making me think about it again Smile

Diluted_Acid · Posted: Sun Aug 20, 2006 7:49 am Post subject:

These are stupidly big goals, but i'm still happy to have them. Razz

- Break out of my habit of hiding in the school library during recess and lunch.
- See my ex
- Ask my ex back out
- And this time kiss her lmao . . . .( *sigh* i think thats why i got dumped)
- Study an hour a night for school
- Edit a bmxing movie of myself

jamez · Posted: Mon Oct 02, 2006 2:12 pm Post subject:

- Find a proper job close to home. (start job-seeking from tomorrow)
- Start working out, jogging and weights (each day)
- Make conversation with more people
- Improve my concentration through reading, meditation
- Stay disciplined