Joined: Aug 30, 2004 Posts: 189 Location: United Kingdom
Posted: Mon Apr 17, 2006 10:51 am Post subject:
The first one I remember is that any pressure I felt had to be symmetrical over my body, so if my hand touched something, I'd have to touch something (the same thing, preferably) with my other hand. Both sides had to feel the same, including my back, so sitting down was tricky; I'd have to keep moving around until the pressure felt the same all over it. The number of times and order in which I touched something mattered too. A touch with one hand demanded a touch with the other, but then the fact that I'd gone from left to right wasn't right either. I had to go from right to left in the same way to balance out the numbers. That also didn't work, because those four actions had to be repeated in reverse: right-left, then left-right. This would continue until I lost count.
I gave that up at about age eight, and instead began to hide my skin form the sun at all costs, with clothing over my head in the car and standing in any shade available, however inconvenient.
My general health-consciousness was unhealthy for a while, ironically.
I'm not sure whether this would be more phobic than obsessive-compulsive, but I try not to sit in front of people while they're eating, because I can't bear the idea of them spitting at me. I avoid looking at drinks because people don't wipe off the marks their mouths make on them as I always do. I'm very, very easily disgusted by certain things, yet I'm not squeamish about blood and actually like the smell of fertilisers.
_________________ 'Be a first rate version of yourself, not a second rate version of someone else' ~ Liza Minnelli
Acne! I scrub my face for hours on end, which ironically ends up irritating my skin and making things worse. O.o
And doorknobs. Gotta do the old 'pull my long sleeves over my hand' maneuver before I touch them. Water fountain buttons and handlebars are the same way.
And I can't seem to stop doing things in multiples of four. It's like I can't progress to the next thought or action unless I've counted to four first. Usually four times. I have to add a 1 to the last four count in order to stop the cycle. So I end up counting to 17 a lot. My brain feels like a skipping record unless I can finish.
And the usual double-checking. How many of you read over e-mails a thousand times before you send them? How many times did you read your forum post over before you clicked 'submit'?
And things have to be even. I have a carton of ice cream in my fridge with the top layer scooped completely level. Then my roommate, bless his soul, comes in and gouges holes in it when he has some. Then I have to eat more ice cream to make it level again. Not the most unpleasant of tasks, mind you. But I've gotta watch my girlish figure.
I think the craziest thing about this disorder is how sane you are at the same time. You're completely aware of how irrational all of this is, lucidly, maddeningly aware, but you can't seem to fix it, no matter what mental gauntlet you run yourself through. It's interesting hearing about everyone's obsessions, though; how they got them, how they manifest. A lot of them are general, so you don't feel as alone, or as strange. And a lot of them are specific to the person, which gives you some interesting insight into the individual. There's a lot to relate to by examining each others' behaviors, and a lot to be gained, I think, by being able to step back and look at your own fixations from an objective point of view.
Joined: May 05, 2006 Posts: 65 Location: Australia
Posted: Sat Jun 17, 2006 8:44 am Post subject:
I don't have ocd but when I was younger I used to always have things clean and tidy and got mad when people messed things up, but that compulsion was easy to get over
These days I can't start anything until I have whatever I'm working on finished. I have to get that feeling of something being completed before I can start the next, which makes studying multiple subjects for example quite hard to manage.
I check things(EVERYTHING)...over & over and over and over...I check to make sure the computer is unplugged/turned off before bed or before going anywhere. I make sure the tv is unplugged before going anywhere. I check to make sure the water isn't running(I've loosened up the handles before on accident, in doing this ), I make sure the hair straightener isn't plugged in, I make sure the doors are locked, etc...... I also wash my hands quite often.
Acne! I scrub my face for hours on end, which ironically ends up irritating my skin and making things worse.
Understand Completely!!! If you ever find the faintest hint (or possibly lack of) of a blackhead, do you attack it until you are left with a scar or scrape on your face? I do this almost every day....It makes my skin so much worse, yet I can't stop doing it.
I am getting this bad habit of checking plates, cups or anything I eat off. I will somtimes spend 20mins checking for any bit of dirt on the plate or spoon then I will put it back and find a cleaner one.... thats got to be my worst
the other I have is pulling hair out when I am talking to people.
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), I make sure the hair straightener isn't plugged in, I make sure the doors are locked, etc...... I also wash my hands quite often.
