my social anxity killing me

LittleMissMuffet · Posted: Sat Sep 09, 2006 4:06 am Post subject:

Hi,
I also share most of those symptoms, although I tend to go through cycles of having some and then having others.

I think that sometimes I can get rid of many of them, but then I can 'slip' and it seems to degenerate somewhat and then I experience more symtoms.

For example, A few months ago I lost my second job that I've had in about 5 years. I could keep a basic hold on the anxiety I felt working there and lasted for 6 months. But I developed another 'neurotic fear' -this time it was that the music being played would 'get to me' too much and that my emotions would all 'show up' to embarass me. ...This fear of this happening -of course- meant that that is exactly what happened. It got silly. And the worst thing about being silly is knowing that you are being silly but still being and feeling that way.

...It was bad: people thought (and called) me 'crazy' -and they were the nice ones. Others saw me as 'stupid' and perhaps 'emotionally disabled' of some sort. I was insulted in this way right before been given the sack. And even before then, there was (of course) one particular person, the self-appointed 'workplace psychopath' (as my sister calls them) who took it upon himself to demoralise me and do his best to destroy whatever positive attempts and efforts I made. He only added to the pressure and anxiety that I was already dealing with.

...But, during this time, I started to get even more worried about my anxiousness -as in, worried that it would 'show-up' and that others would sense it and react badly to it. ...My anxiety has never been so acute or distressing (and I've had it in some form for my whole life). Since then, I would even feel uncomfortable and tense around my own family. Hypervigilant to where they were, and somehow 'anxious about feeling anxious'.

The horrible part is that when I build-up my own sense of calm, esteem and competence, there is this little part that isn't somehow convinced -and if I ever get overwhelmed by what's around me, all of a sudden I spiral out of control emotionally. And I have to start all over again. And it's this 'spiralling-out' of my emotions, that keeps me worried about losing control so much. Like as if my emotions are on a really delicate balance -swing a little too much one way and control is lost and my emotions go haywire. How much work and how hard is it to get a grasp over such a delicate thing as my emotional balance.

I'm also sometimes too touchy towards others' opinions and criticisms. And I occasionally find that I am too 'needy' of positive affirmation from a person who normally gives me support. It is these two that I dislike the most. It makes me into someone I don't want to be even more than simply an anxious type.

LittleMissMuffet · Posted: Sat Sep 09, 2006 4:13 am Post subject:

...one last thing. I never really had trouble with boys. If anthing, I've probably relied on a lot of my social self-esteem from them. Sometimes I used flirting to get over my shyness and over-sensitivity. But otherwise, I struggle to seem to be less introverted and so easily sensitive to everything and everybody around me.

iris · Newbie User Joined: Sep 09, 2006 Posts: 2

A cute guy would come up to me, and I'd start blushing furiously. Then I'd start sweating profusely. And we won't even be talking about sensitve topics. He could be asking about school, and I'd still blush. I've tried breathing deeply. It doesn't help me much. This also happens when I get called on in class. It really sucks. Mad

LittleMissMuffet · Posted: Sun Sep 10, 2006 2:52 am Post subject:

Don't mean to ruin your illusions, Iris, but some people would actually consider that cute Razz

. Think of it like this: a lot of men love the thought that some girl/woman would gush over them. One of the reasons why this is true is because it shows that they can have an effect on you. Maybe you should see it in a positive way; and instead of being embarrased, be proud of it. It is cute!

...also, if you accept it as a fundamentally nice part about you, you'll probably find it easier to control when it becomes more excessive and therefore less apropriate. ...I think it's very, very sweet though. Smile

-Who told you that it wasn't?!! Question

P.S. I just realised that you (and others here) are Americans. ...Well, remember Scarlett O'Hara. She would actually purposely try to blush and look embarrased! ...A gift like that should be respected and embraced . Embarassed

...

Number1usjoe · Intermediate User Joined: Aug 05, 2006 Posts: 226

I would say I have all those but I do check if there is joke I am not quick to fight.

I think what u described is social phobia in many detailed scenarios.

Kitywhisca · Newbie User Joined: Nov 22, 2006 Posts: 4

Yep...I have all of those you listed.

red_reagel · Newbie User Joined: Nov 19, 2006 Posts: 83

I feel the same way, but I dont think I'm really so bad. Good luck! if anyone can get through SA, then I'm sure you all can.

1.Can't look people completely in the eye
2. Frequent use of computer instead of going out with friends/Declining invitations
3. Afraid to talk out or ask questions in class
4. Always feel like someone's watching me
5. Major discomfortable feeling in society, especially at school.
6. Afraid of intimacy with new people. <----i really dont mind this or if I get friends. I just wanna talk without feeling weird for once.

Thelema · Expert User Joined: Jul 22, 2006 Posts: 840 Location: USA

superz · Newbie User Joined: Oct 02, 2005 Posts: 3

have you ever thought about the reason?

as far as I am concerned ,it is genetic reason

vacantxsyren