wistful...all I can say to you is, you have got problems.....In an attemp to make yourself sound sooooo good and soooo helpful you seem to come off as a know-it-all, who when trying to help others, look down on them...In other words...you think your shit doesnt stink as much as ours!
Let me reassure you wistful...IT DOES!!
'Why don't women feel the need to try to control their emotions and educate me so that my dumb ass and people like me don't keep making the same ignorant mistakes. Wouldn't it mutually benificial? Lashing out seems like a temporary catharsis- like a band aid- it doesn't solve the problem.'
I think this sums up the problem. Everyone is responsible for themselves. It would be foolish to expect other people to educate you - that's your job (assuming you are an adult). And making a sweeping statement about women not being able to control their emotions doesn't say much in your favour. Why don't you control your need to interrogate woman about issues that they mind find uncomfortable to talk about? This would solve your problem.
I think this sums up the problem. Everyone is responsible for themselves. It would be foolish to expect other people to educate you - that's your job (assuming you are an adult). And making a sweeping statement about women not being able to control their emotions doesn't say much in your favour. Why don't you control your need to interrogate woman about issues that they mind find uncomfortable to talk about? This would solve your problem.
Actually, I don't spend all my time 'interrogating' woman... I think I made the mistake here of using an extreme example. It doesn't reflect who I completely am. Next, I don't recall making a sweeping statement about women not being able to control their emotions... but I was refering to the particular individual women that I was speaking to. So, I appologize if I irresponsibly gave the impression that all women can't control their emotions. I definitely don't believe that. As far as my responsibility to educate myself... it most definitely is. As well, it is societies responsibility (including women) to educate other people on their views, otherwise we all continue to learn nothing and we just talk past each other. How am I supposed to 'educate' myself on a woman's perspective on certain issues, if some women avoid the issue and just talk past me with over simplifications? In general it is societies responsibilty to teach to rid of ignorance as well as one to teach themselves to rid of ignorance. I can learn alot on my own... and I can develope theories on women's issues, but my theories on how it is to feel like a woman can never be as accurate as hearing it from a woman directly.
Interrogate? I don't interrogate- if you had read my prior posting you would have seen that the woman in this example brought up the issues, but had avoided giving difficult answers... that's her prerogative. When I realized that she wasn't going to answer the question. I dropped the issue. I didn't go out of my way to make her feel bad. You make it out like you were there watching me drilling her with questions... when I wasn't.
I think my problem is that when I finally work up the nerve to say something whether it is an emotional issue or not... I get so nervous that I don't speak in calm manner. And other people may pick up on my discomfort, which in turns make them nervous. Ironic, because one of the reason's that I am nervous in the first place is because I am thoughtfully analyzing everything- especially socially, so much so that I make myself uncomfortable to speak out. So when I do speak out and stumble over my words or speak with a shaking voice or speak really fast, I am sort of fufilling a prophecy of appearing foolish. My face turns red also when talking to new people or about something emotional. I wonder if some people may mistake this as anger?
Last edited by wistful_dementia on Sat Nov 27, 2004 7:26 pm; edited 1 time in total
I have to admit Wistful, that you do come across pretty harsh in some of your topics, I dont think you mean to but you can also come across as a little patronising. Maybe if you toned it down a little then more people would be willing to discuss the topics you wish to discuss.
Well, I hope you can take citicism...lol
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