Past stages of SP

LilMissTragic · Expert User Joined: Sep 05, 2004 Posts: 803

I have come to realise that my SP aint so bad. Theres people on here going through what I went through as a teen, which was when mine was at its worse. I have come to realise however, that I have no interest in people. Might sound harsh but I was hanging out with my ex bf the other day and he's very confident and talks to lots of people, I didnt feel nervous, anxious or anything, I did however feel totally disinterested in the people he spoke to and didnt even want to talk to them. Maybe I just havent found anyone that interests me. then again, I dont have much in common with most people it seems...everyone seems so samey.
Has anyone else come to that conclusion?

Tris · Posted: Tue Oct 12, 2004 11:04 pm Post subject:

Ive come to the conculsion that i dont care what people think,say or do but i still cant get over the avoiding part i was just talking to my sister like 10 mins ago about this and i honestly dont care but i still cant be myself i dont understand why, maybe im almost where your at, or maybe im not
who knows! ahhhhh

_________________
Tris

Flax · Posted: Tue Oct 12, 2004 11:34 pm Post subject:

That's kind of how i am, I don't really care to get to know anyone. Some people that I have a connection with I'd like to become friends with, but often I am afraid to do anything with them or call them. That's where my problem starts. Like this girl I worked with that I became friends with mentioned seeing a movie with her and I got really nervous and started thinking of ways I could avoid it. Also once I mentioned to her about my anxieties and she said that she had a friend that was like me and offered to have me meet her, I got nervous and said "Uhh... I don't know... mmm" She never brought it up again. Then on my last week of work the girl I work with told me to write down her number and to give her a call sometime. I wrote it down, but I know I'll never call her. Work gave me an excuse to be around her, without it I don't know why I'd call her. I'd like to hang out with her sometime, but I never can think of anything to do and if I do I assume she'll be too busy to do it. And even if I get past those two obstacles I freak out about meeting her friends, and I also feel nervous because she has a boyfriend and I don't know how he'd feel about his girlfriend hanging out with me.
Yikes... I can't stand this shit. Hopefully this psychiatrist I'm going to see can help.

Yossarian · Posted: Wed Oct 13, 2004 12:58 am Post subject:

Yeah, one of my biggest obstacles in over coming SP/A is the lack of any real motivation to rejoin the human race. I just have no interest in most people.

I look around me and see a world slowly converging into one large apathetic mass, sat in some soulless theme pub watching talentless morons who think just because they're on telly they're better people than me.

Admittedly being left out of the loop has left be bitter and I certainly don't consider myself any better than anyone else. It's just surely there is more to life than Tabloid culture.

As for why then do I care what they think. Well I reckon my SP is a fear of rejection in general and not by anyone in particular. Thomas Huxley once wrote 'I doubt if the philosopher lives or ever has lived, who could know himself to be heartily despised by a street boy without some irritation.' We are after all social creatures. Historically being expelled from our tribe would most probably of meant death. My opinion is to not care about being socially accepted is unnatural (if not unwise) even if I do not care for the society by which I am judged.

Or it's just similar to being dismayed when told someone doesn't fancy you even though you don't fancy them.

Or I'm just talking bollocks. I don't care anymore.

Society is mankinds' greatest strength and my greatest weakness. HAH!

LilMissTragic · Expert User Joined: Sep 05, 2004 Posts: 803

Hmmm...Well, I still have no interest in anyone, i'm not lonely, I'm just not a social creature. Not all humans thrive on the company of others. Then again, I suppose I already have my little tribe, Me, My fiance and my animals...lol.

Yossarian · Posted: Thu Oct 14, 2004 2:44 am Post subject:

I'm sorry if I gave you the impression that I'm happy being SP Wozza but articulating my thoughts and feelings has never been easy for me.

You made many good points. Believe me I do actually realise that people have a plethora of individual differences. However my depression, caused by loneliness, in turn caused by SP does tend to every now and again leave me feeling ever so slightly negative about myself and the world around me.
I believe this cognitive distortion of the truth is quite common in depression.

Anyhow, when I am in a social situation I always pretend I'm happy and everything is great for many reasons not least because I don't want to piss others off and push them away from me. This is why I post here because I need somewhere to be truthfull and honest about the way I sometimes feel, with others who I had hoped might understand.

Sometimes when I see others happy I am glad and I wish that oneday I will overcome my SP so that I will also be happy. Sometimes however I feel other peoples smiles are like twisted daggers tearing apart my heart.
I do realise this is my problem. I try very hard not to become bitter and resentful because I know the fault lies with me and bringing others down will not lift me up, but sometimes I fail and resent other peoples happiness even though I know I shouldn't.

Of course you were right to correct me it's just I hope you understand my need to vent such negativity so it doesn't stay bottled up inside me.

LilMissTragic · Expert User Joined: Sep 05, 2004 Posts: 803

We are all guilty of that...but thats what this place is for anyways, got something to asy, got a worry ya need help with...just want to whinge, heres the place to do it. no one should take anything personally, ya know we all say stuff we dont mean when we are in one of our moods. So, carry on, as ya were Smile

Yossarian · Posted: Fri Oct 15, 2004 7:30 pm Post subject:

I was wondering how many posts you have to make until you're no longer a newbie? Both you guys (LizzaMizzaTrazza and Anthony Worrydoll-Thompson) have clocked over 130 posts each, yet are still rated newbies. To me you're like the Godfathers of SPW.

P.S. Sorry about the silly names, I'll stop now. I quite like Yozza though...giz a job, go on giz it ....

note to self: don't post under the influence of alchohol.

Guest · Posted: Fri Oct 15, 2004 7:41 pm Post subject:

lmao...LizzaMizzaTrazza...I kinda like it...lol

LilMissTragic · Expert User Joined: Sep 05, 2004 Posts: 803

oops...i'm in as guest again...lol...
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