anybody ever have a hard time getting along with people??

paulm · Guest

Hello everyone. I'm reading a book about the social anxiety disorder, it's by Gillian Butler and is called Overcoming Social Anxiety and Shyness. I wondered if anyone has been asked to read the same book. It's part of my treatment SA

Anyhow, I'm 29 years old and have been oblivious to the name and nature of this disorder until last year. I have left many jobs, and lost good friends because of it. I can see how some people use drugs and alchol to fill the void, I did this myself which definatley didnt help in all honesty Smile

I understand the frustrations about not meeting women. I think you will though. It became apparent by reading your messages that you are an honest, sensitive, humerous, articulate person. What a great bunch of people.

nicola_maire · Posted: Mon Jun 06, 2005 8:20 pm Post subject:

its very hard sometimes, because when yur not joining in with a conversation, your analysing it, which in my case, makes me fell very wierd, because it hink, oh my god it is me, everyones liek this, n im like that. i think the worse thing for me is that i used to be a person which i repected alot i didnt give a fuck what people thought of me, nor did i give a fuck about what i talked about, and with this, people liked me purly because i was unique, and didnt try to conform at all. with my best friend yasmin, its so easy for me to talk to her, n we laugh so much, because i know what to expect from her, so in that im not afraid of what she might say to me, if i say something stupid, she'll turn it into a joke, and not look down on me for it. i guess sometimes you just need to stand back and say:
'no one's perfect, so why am i trying to eb perfect, i cant fit in with everyone, becasue not everyone will like me, but i would rather them not like me for me, than the person im trying to be, becasue atleast then its true, and you dont have this feeling like if you were being yourself you might get on'
i think i need to find my own place in the world liek i once did. its hard becasue i wasnt much of a loooker when i was a kid, but all the same i loved myself completly, now that i am quite attractive i have so many hang ups, if i was purly myself i know that i could be whole, and to be honest, id rather hate my looks, but love my soul.
im starting to learn more and more about human nature.
i think you need be empathic, project yourself into someone else. when someone talks to you do you think 'oh what an idiotic thing to say, i bet she's a looser, oh my god she has no friends'.....well really you dont. so why would everyone else do that?

thugaveli · Posted: Fri Jun 17, 2005 8:09 pm Post subject:

I can relate, they just have to accept you are what you are.
I went for a drink with the footy team once, now i dont mind playing footy as im keeping busy, but going for a drink after the game = socialising, talking, communicating...... and thats not for me but i went anyways
I just sat with 2 of the older quiet men while the rest of them sat in a big group laughing ect ect. 1 of the guys shouted across the room for me to join them and then said 'why don't you talk much'
I felt like id been totally invaded there, like hes making me speak or something. I don't make conversation and i don't talk unless i need to because whatever i say i feel is irrelevant or embarrasing
Just do what you feel comfortable with thats what i say
Don't be forced into something that kicks you in the teeth everytime