What is it you want from this site anyways?

LilMissTragic · Expert User Joined: Sep 05, 2004 Posts: 803

I'm not sure why some users of this site actually come here. Its seems a few of you are looking for a magic cure, some are looking for sympathy (somthing i think people really dont need too much of)..ohhh wait for the come back for that comment..lmao. Others of you are looking for a site where you can come, share your day to day experiences, have a chat and a whinge about it and hopefully get cheered up.

So, what are YOU looking for in this site?

Guest · Posted: Mon Oct 18, 2004 12:23 am Post subject:

I suppose my biggest reason for clicking onto this site is because I'm majorly bored ---- It would surely be a bonus if I could click on and be cheered up, or share some wonderful or not so wonderful experience.... but the truth is, I click off being just as bored as I was when I clicked on.
Sorry... it's nobody's fault but my own, I'm not blaming anyone, just being honest. Sad

wistful_dementia · Intermediate User Joined: Sep 28, 2004 Posts: 173

I'm not coming for sympathy. I do like to exchange knowledge and to occasionally philosophize. It is also great to just enjoy some silly banter amongst friends. But, the main reason that I come here is to know that I am not alone- and that I can chat with people who can relate. No, no- I am totally against using this site as a crutch and I am forcing myself to get out there and *gulp* socialize, no matter how hard that may be Shocked

Yossarian · Posted: Mon Oct 18, 2004 2:25 am Post subject:

When I first came here I wanted a Soda-Stream cos I thought it was e-bay. Laughing

Mmmm....no this is a good question but one that's hard to answer because I'm not sure. As much as I like a giggle I came here for a serious reason that I do know. Hey you asked for this!

What I was expecting I wasn't sure but I needed something to change. I still do. I'd tried medication which didn't help and when I was referred to a Mental Health clinic by my GP I was refused treatment because my condition wasn't serious or enduring. I should also mention I have virtually no human contact at all. I have my Mum but talking or seeing her makes me feel like shit. If it was up to me I would cut all ties but I couldn't hurt her like that. I do have a supported housing worker who visits once a week and we talk of football etc. That's it. Unless you count the odd hello to a checkout girl. So human contact was and is an important reason for coming here. Not just to do with SP but I figured other SPs would be easy for me to approach. Maybe some day I'll move on to other sites, other forums which have nothing to do with SP. Until then I'm afraid you are stuck with me Wink

As for help and advice. No I don't think that was why I came. I was interested in finding a support group where I live but I guess it wasn't as important as just finding another human being to talk to. Funny that my first post was in response to you LMT slagging people off for not replying to a previous post of yours. A warm friendly welcome indeed. Laughing

"What! You didn't come here for help on curing SP!" No. I had all but given up. For ten years I have been fighting myself so I can lead a fulfilling and happy life. I have always, no matter what believed I am a decent person who could go on to a decent career and in time meet someone special and who knows maybe marry, maybe children. Until recently. 2 years at College, 3 years at University, IF, it all went smoothly and then who wants someone in their 30's with a history of mental health problems when they can have some bright young thing. I have been alone for so long, even if an opportunity of a relationship occured who am I kidding. I don't know what the hell I'm doing anymore. I'm too old to go through that embarrassing, clumsy teenage stage again, once was more than enough. Life had simply passed me by. What good would a cure be to me now?

"Don't give up!" Why? I've spent 10 years fighting myself and for what? To sit alone in my flat while I just fade away. 10 years of hopes and dreams crushed over and over again. 10 years of failure, disappointment, misery and loneliness. Theories are all well and good but 10 years of hard proof suggested I should accept my fate and make the best of it.

So I did. Almost. The reason I'm lonely? I need people. I can't change this. No matter what I do, what I tell myself, I need and want people in my life. O.k. so I'll never have a group of mates, or that someone special but something's better than nothing. This was that something.

It was hard as well. The first ten or so posts I made left me feeling deeply humilated. Also where to start? I felt like an outsider and everyone here had their cliques which I dared not interfere with. The next ten I could still barely bring myself to read any replies. Until eventually I am now pretty confident, although I do wonder if people get pissed off with me posting so much. It's progress.

"It's not the real world!". Really? You mean you're not real people? You guys have been interesting, stupid, warming, depressing, annoying and funny. To me that's better than being bored stupid whether I can see your face or not. Isn't it what lies beneath the skin that matters anyway?

You see a strange thing has happened. I've enjoyed reading the philosophical arguments between people because they make me think again whether I agree or not. I've been moved by peoples' personal stories whether good or bad. I've become interested in the ideas on how to overcome SP whether they come across as patronising or not. As for the more comic moments....well they've made me laugh. ALL of these things in one way or another have for a small time made me happier.

Even stranger, since I've started feeling comfy here and got to know a few people, I've become more positive. Simply connecting with a few people even if it is on the internet has given me a taste again for socialising. I want more. I'm not completely alone, and by pushing myself to post more I've gained some positive experiences. Something I haven't had for a long time. Okay so it's not real life but it's a start. I am in a better position now than before I came.

Guess that's what we all want isn't it? In one way or another, what ever our situation we want to leave here in a better position than when we came.

"What it's taken you all this time just to come up with that stupidly bloody obvious statement?". Yeah, it's called progress. Wink

JWH · Posted: Mon Oct 18, 2004 5:01 am Post subject:

Boredom. I've always used the internet to communicate and it's become an addiction. Probably one which has made my SP worse. But between the desire to read of other people's issues and my OCD-like obsession with forums, I'm here.

By the way. For the older people with SP here, what did you do in the days before the internet? I couldn't imagine not having the internet, without it I wouldn't even have a career.

sengd001 · Newbie User Joined: Sep 18, 2004 Posts: 17

basically i just come onto this website for advice, and people's opinions and point of views on how i should behave, or go through different situations, but a downside about this website is that nobody here uses the chatrooms Surprised

, i would love to talk to you guys one on one on a regular basis and develop friendships and such, i think that using the chatrooms would also provide all of us with more human contact, and help, so how come nobody here uses the chatrooms on this website??? Shocked

Horatio · Posted: Mon Oct 18, 2004 10:36 am Post subject:

I dont know for sure why I come here. After being diagnosed with socialphobia I did some research on the net trying to find out more about the problem. Saw this site and I guess it appealed to me that I could communicate with other people who face similar issues to me.

Im used to being told that Im a fucked up worthless freak. Modern day lingo for "socialphobic" is "loser" Even family and people I thought were friends love to take stabs at the guy with no social ability.

For a very very long time I believed that I was a dreadful mistake but from this site I have learnt that in fact I am not the only person who struggles in the same area as I do.

But anyways Im still new here Tragic so dont know if its best for me to stay or not

Horatio

LilMissTragic · Expert User Joined: Sep 05, 2004 Posts: 803

Horatio, ya have to stay, your yet another cooler person that just happens to have something in common with us weirdos...(using that word in a friendly way)...lol...I'm actually known as the local weirdo in my town...lmao.

Yossarian · Posted: Mon Oct 18, 2004 3:59 pm Post subject:

Thanks Woz , I'm not 30 just yet though ! I was thinking more in terms of employment after the College, Uni route...but don't worry(doll) I'm more positive now-a-days thanks to you guys Cool

Sengd001, I've never used any chat room before but yeah...it would be good. Scary but good. Maybe someday soon.

Horatio stay! If you've got Wozza's and LMT's vote you've got mine. I had a lot of backstabbing friends once, the bastards!

Trazza every town needs a local weirdo! I was voted 'feak of the year' in my last year at school. Apparently it was flattering because I had a 'crazy sense of humour'. Personally I think it was because the only people who voted were on the school paper. Just so happened that they consisted of my ex-girlfriend and her mates who hated me! Laughing

Yossarian · Posted: Mon Oct 18, 2004 4:04 pm Post subject:

Oops I forgot JWHZZA,

I'm not old (26..the worlds still my oyster right?) but I've only had the internet for about a month. Before that I was alot more miserable and alot more lonely. Although no one ever threatened to kill me Laughing