Anyone in the UK?

Frozen_In_Time · Posted: Sat Jan 31, 2004 11:20 am Post subject:

Thank you to everyone who have posted here, and welcome to all the newbies! (Sorry, I just like to welcome people, pity no one was there to welcome me, oh well).

It seems like most younger people are more outgoing than I am, (I'm 15) and I hate having to sit in the middle of conversations and they don't include me...I mean, don't sit next to me if you're not going to talk to me. It seems like outgoing people are afraid of being alone, whereas I don't care if I'm seen alone, what difference would it make to me anyway? I'm alone everywhere I go, even with people. Some people may think it's self-inflicted, I suppose in some ways it's true. It's probably true that I CAN talk, but it's all in my mind that I can't talk. It's like every time I have to talk I freeze up (hence my user name!) I get all hot and cold, and I can't talk. Is it all in my mind?

It also seems that I cannot be helped, no matter what I do. Among this, I also feel "down" quite a lot, sometimes for no reason. Is it just teenage mood swings?

What is Cognitive Behaviour Therapy?

Thanks for reading.

Frozen_In_Time

jjj555 · Posted: Sun Feb 01, 2004 5:02 am Post subject:

Hi Frozen in time. CBT is a process which challenges your thoughts (cognitions) and behaviour (your avoidance due to your fear).
Firstly, you identify and challenge the anxiety provoking thoughts that you have, and then replace them with new rational thoughts. You may have to rehearse the new thoughts and say them over and over until they become ingrained and hopefully result in a change to your belief system.
The second part of CBT is focused on behaviour. Gradual exposure to your most feared situation is the process. You create a hierarchy of fears, eg. a spider phobic may find a picture of a spider less anxiety provoking than a toy spider on a nearby desk, which may in turn be less anxiety provoking than a real, dead spider on a nearby desk, and so on until the most feared situation is attempted, which might involve being close by to a live spider.
Each process of the exposure therapy requires you to remain in the activity until your anxiety disappears.
Mental health experts say that CBT has an 85% success rate.
Unfortunately for me CBT has proved unsuccessful, but I'm not giving up and hopefully one day I will change my belief system!
I hope I've answered your question about CBT, and please, seek professional help. You may be one of the lucky 85% that CBT helps.

Chump · Newbie User Joined: Jan 29, 2004 Posts: 3 Location: Canada

Like i posted earlier(but seems it was ignored), here is an article on using CBT to overcoming social phobia:

http://www.cognitivetherapy.com/socPhobPrint.html

Frozen_In_Time · Posted: Fri Feb 06, 2004 6:08 pm Post subject:

Thanks Chump and jjj555. I will further read about it.

spig* · Guest

hey frozen in time
im 15 and from the UK as well and am kinda similar to what you said you were like in a way.whereabouts in the UK are you from?

Guest · Posted: Wed Feb 11, 2004 12:39 pm Post subject: Hi

Hi I'm a UK'er

just sayin hello to everybody as I'm a noob.

I've had SA as long as I can remember, I have learnt to get by , by putting on a mask and acting like I'm confident and outgoing, when inside I am terrified, just remember everyone puts this mask on , even the people who you think are normal, from experience I have seen the strongest of people crack up, dont lose faith ,we all learn eventually how to get by.

spacecadetglowuk · Posted: Wed Feb 11, 2004 12:41 pm Post subject:

forgot to log in, Rolling Eyes

last message was by me BTW Very Happy

Frozen_In_Time · Posted: Thu Feb 12, 2004 5:05 pm Post subject:

Hi spacecadetglowuk,

I put on a "mask" as well. You're not alone there. I just smile, and everyone thinks I'm ok, but I'm not in actual fact. My heart is screaming at me to do something, but what or how, I don't know.

(Wow, you're a musician? What instrument(s) do you play? I'm very interested...) I play the piano.

Frozen_In_Time

spacecadetglowuk · Posted: Thu Feb 12, 2004 5:27 pm Post subject:

guitar, bass and a very poor keyboard, I was in a band for some time and actually managed to sing infront of large audiences (quite a strain for the mask I wore I can tell you) I found that easier than talking to strangers?????? perhaps its like gareth gates and his stutter that disapears when he sings?

Wearing a mask is something I have adapted myself to to survive, its like being an actor and your life outside the frontdoor is a play but I have a problem keeping it up for long amounts of time. I learnt alot when a friend of mine taught me sales techniques of all things, I find conversations easier to handle now I have these skills. Perhaps I could compile a list if people think it may help?

Frozen_In_Time · Posted: Thu Feb 12, 2004 5:38 pm Post subject:

Thanks for the reply spacecadetglowuk. Yes, please could you write down the list of skills that you have picked up, I'm sure it would help me, and others on this forum. I only find conversations easy if I don't know someone, I know it's strange, but I find lots of things I can talk about if I don't know that person. On the other hand, with people whom I've known for a while, it's more difficult.

Take care.

Frozen_In_Time