we all know (hopefully ) that you can't put all women in the same category. Just cause I reacted in this way and did what I did, doesn't necessarily mean she is the same...
Really? Reading your very comprehensive description of female behaviour relative to these matters, I had this distinct feeling of being in front of something that applies generally to all people of the opposite sex, at least as far as my very limited experience goes..
Quote:
If you love her, then you'll wait for her.
If you love her, you'll want what is best for her.
True. And furthermore we have to wait for as much as they deem necessary, and never be impatient, we have to tolerate the continuous risk of rejection, unanswered phone calls or messages, we have to excuse the most capricious behaviour, fulfill all sorts of requests, be caring but never needy, be ready to listen to problems but never expect the slightest understanding for ours. Always give, give, give...
I don't know, perhaps the majority of guys have been equipped by nature with the emotional means to deal with all this. It must be so. But for me, and I suppose for a lot of those guys facing the problem of SA, it can be so hard and painful.. to the point that one sometimes can't help but feeling nothing but bitterness towards all people belonging to the female gender.
Which is quite stupid and unproductive...but then, so are the majority of human feelings anyway
_________________ I died and I reincarnated in myself again.
As I said, I am single, and reading this stupid crap I just wrote, anyone can imagine why...
I don’t actually expect the guy to just give, give, give without getting something from me instead... I think it would help with the trust issue if a guy did that, made me feel secure..
I want to give, give, give... my love, my trust and much much more to someone... (yes, I know all of us do)
I don’t want to be like this, rejecting good people just so I can do it to them before they do it to me.. I hate this and I don’t know what to do...
Men have the advantage over women, that their moods don’t swing everytime there is a full moon . I sometimes wish I was a man so I wouldn’t have to deal with all the hormonal crap....
I don’t know, maybe all women are crazy and stupid... I’m tired of playing the endless gender game of “you have it better” and “we are better then you”...
I thought for a second my ramble made some sence, and would maybe help smudgo and this girl he was talking about... Maybe I'm just stateing the obvious...
I don't know... now I feel hyper sensitive, stupid and useless...
I don’t know, maybe all women are crazy and stupid... I’m tired of playing the endless gender game of “you have it better” and “we are better then you”...
And I don't wish to play it either, as I agree it's a patently silly one. But I just wanted to point out that we too, sometimes, have mood swings, feel hypersensitive or vulnerable, and we too feel hurt when we are rejected. Girls/women seem sometimes to assume that they have a sort of monopoly over emotions, which is quite wrong. What is different is that we don't show our feelings and weaknesses and needs that much, but it doesn't mean we don't have them. We are forced to keep everything inside, because we know it perfectly well that there is no hope of receiving much support or understanding as far these matters are concerned.
Note that I'm not expecting that this should change in any way.. I suppose it's the way things are, I just had a moment of slight resentment while reading that post, and felt like sharing it. If not here, where else...
Quote:
I thought for a second my ramble made some sence, and would maybe help smudgo and this girl he was talking about...
I think your description/analysis made perfect sense, was well written, and probably helpful as well, at least it seemed so to me as I'm not the person to whom it was directed in the first place..
_________________ I died and I reincarnated in myself again.
Thank you for your replies appreciate it I understand what your saying Quixote and i know how thats sometimes hwo she reacts. She thought to her friend that i had fell out with her so i had to clear things up (using her friend as a messnger that is)
I basically said that i need time to just go back to try and not be so overly in love with her and just be friends. I hope shes not in a bad mood though cause she hasn't been on ... or maybe she is just giving me time? She really wants to get to trust me i think as shes really scared about losing me as a friend when she thought i had fallen out with her she was overtalkative as if in an attempt to stay friends?
I don't know really but i know one thing i will never have bitterness towards her. I am really trying and even for 16 i am an emotional , secure and caring character well at least i would hope so. But i need to know that i have a chance with her because maybe she doesn't want to go out with me but just be friends? She seems like she wants to trust me and stuff. And in that email i did tell her how i feel...maybe i will jsut give it time.
Posted: Tue Nov 21, 2006 12:02 pm Post subject: hiya
well i mean, she probs dont wanna get back with u out of principle. i mean inless its love, generally women dont get back with a guy coz they think well didnt want me before, u cant have me now! same with guys reallly, i mean it dont apply if u love eachther, coz if u love eachother then petty pride dont matter. but generally it does... she probs will wanna be a friend, jsut not a close one, like an aquantence? i could be wrong, but thats generally the score with relationships at ur age. but mingle, and move on, ul meet over girls, ur 16, u need experience different types of girls to understand what ur looking for later in life long term!
god luck anyways xxx
I thought that but i wasnt sure because she has APD that things might be different? Such as trust issues and stuff for not wanting to go back into a relationship. I genuinly dont think she wants in another relationship but when she talks to me she just seems to light up like her whole character and stuff.
I dunno maybe its just first love syndrome from my part
OK well for tall those that have helped me out thanks, just an update i am going to try and forget about her because i genuinly do love her but i cant keep going on like this. It is bad for me and i think about her far too much every day and its eating me alive. It has gradually gotten worse and worse and now i just really need to take a stand.
Joined: Oct 17, 2006 Posts: 204 Location: Massachusetts
Posted: Wed Dec 13, 2006 12:22 am Post subject:
Smudgo wrote:
OK well for tall those that have helped me out thanks, just an update i am going to try and forget about her because i genuinly do love her but i cant keep going on like this. It is bad for me and i think about her far too much every day and its eating me alive. It has gradually gotten worse and worse and now i just really need to take a stand.
Its gonna be tough tho
Hey, I read the whole story concerning you and this girl, thanks for sharing. Try and think of it like even if you are able to somehow batter those walls down, she's probably in too much of a state to be able to give. It's unlikely that it will be rewarding for you no matter what happens and because of her reluctance to give in, you'll forever be yearning for more. It's a very unsatisfying situation, I know because I've totally been there. All you can do is back right off and give it time. I've been in circumstances very similar to this, and the girl in question actually came chasing after me once I totally let it go. So just try to get on with life - experience different things and people like Nikki said. Do this convincingly enough and she might well wonder what's going on with you and get that jealous streak going - perhaps to the point of wanting an encore. You never know.
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) that you can't put all women in the same category. Just cause I reacted in this way and did what I did, doesn't necessarily mean she is the same...
