invited to things and not being able to go

Tris

I get so depressed when someone invites me to anything. I mean i would love to be able to go but i cant. My bestfriend invited me to her house to just hang out with her and a couple of her friends, that shouldnt be something hard to do, but it is, i mean i could make myself go but then im going to have that ill feeling in my stomach, im not going to talk, i probably wont be able to eat, ill just be there, the person no one knows. I wont be able to be myself (something i hate the most) so should i force myself to go? should i make myself that uncomfortable? will it even do anything for me in the end other then make things worse? BLAH

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Tris

Guest · Posted: Wed Nov 10, 2004 11:43 am Post subject:

yeah its a tough dilemma - I often just dont respond to SMS or calls i get about going someplace. I say something like yeah Ill think about it or yeah ill call you back, and then just don't do anything. They must think im stuck up. I dont want to tell them I dont want to go, but at the same time I dont want to say yeah i will definetely go.

Yossarian · Posted: Wed Nov 10, 2004 11:40 pm Post subject:

I think you answered your question when you said you would love to go but couldn't. If this is really what you want, then if you can find the courage somewhere you should do it. In time I'm sure you will become more comfortable and confident to be who you are. Easy to say I know....

Tris · Posted: Thu Nov 11, 2004 4:10 am Post subject:

Yeah i might suck it up and go, i dont know, i guess i have to make my self do things or i wont ever get anywhere, i dont know. i wish i didnt know about so soon because its going to play over and over again in my head and im gonna back out.

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Tris

LilMissTragic · Expert User Joined: Sep 05, 2004 Posts: 803

I think you shouldpush yourself to go, I bet youll actually end up enjoying it. You could tell the person that invited you that you feel shy around strangers, she will probably put you at ease, she obviously wants you there, so go and have fun x

Yossarian · Posted: Fri Nov 12, 2004 7:31 pm Post subject:

That's a damn fine point Trazza. Your friend invited you so you obviously have qualities which she thinks the others will appreciate. You should have more faith in yourself and try and see this as an opportunity to make new friends and enjoy yourself.

Again I know this is easy to say, but we will never change unless we push ourselves and this has the potential to be a rewarding experience. I know what you mean about having so long to think about it though. Just try and concentrate on thinking about what it would be like if it went well. To have a good time and no longer be held prisoner by fear. Good luck.

loucat · Posted: Wed Nov 17, 2004 10:54 pm Post subject:

it's hard but you have to make yourself go, which i know is easier said than done. It's easy to stay home but at the same time you'll always be wondering what would or could have happened if you went.

tommy_15 · Advanced User Joined: Nov 16, 2004 Posts: 348

no i dont necessarily think you should always force yourself to go places, i think you should force yourself sometimes, but choose wisely.

choose an event or whatever that your going to go to, one maybe which you feel you have less to lose from if you screw it up, or one which your so interested in going in some of the sp gets cancelled out.

go, and more likely that not you will end up briefly beating a bit of the sp and you will have a good time, or atleast you will get some positive feedback out if it, and have some pride in yourself for what your achieving.

Now heres the trick, you have to sieze your next opportunity if you want to build on your new confidence, this is critical or else you will drop back to square one. Now that you have the touch of extra confidence, use it immedietly, its going to be real hard again, but do it. Over the next few days, go to another thing.

This way your building your confidence consistently, and your always doing it when your on a bit of a boost.

anyway this is what i did, im not perfect yet thats why im here, but i improved imesurably.

edit : sorry, if your a person who is likely to have a full blown panic attack, then i wouldnt recomend forcing yourself, because i think everytime that happens you knock yourself around heaps, and the memory of it huants you and makes the future even harder