Posted: Mon Dec 25, 2006 1:33 am Post subject: NEVER HAD A GIRLFRIEND/BOYFRIEND
I was inspired to post this poll by the discussions in the “Women have it easy” topic. There seems to be much disagreement about what gender faces the most difficulty in attaining a girlfriend/boyfriend.
I know this poll is not a perfectly accurate representation of who’s never had a girlfriend/boyfriend (I’m uncertain if the number of men members is equal to the number of women members). Nonetheless, this poll should give us a rough idea about what gender has the most difficulty becoming romantically involved with a member of the opposite sex.
I hypothesize that the number of men who’ve never had a girlfriend will significantly outnumber the number of women who’ve never had a boyfriend. I think gender roles established by society make it much more difficult for shy men to find love. In addition, my own observations have yielded similar results. For example, I always see aggressive men approach shy women but rarely see aggressive women approach shy men.
Joined: Jul 07, 2005 Posts: 923 Location: United Kingdom
Posted: Tue Dec 26, 2006 2:21 pm Post subject:
I don't think this poll wil accurately show anything to be honest, we don't know how many females and how many males there are on the site for one thing. Also, yes, a female with sa may be more likely to get a relationship that is initiated by the guy, but very often it's with a dominating man who takes advantage of her vulnerability, because anxious women are likely to be targeted by men who want someone they can use and abuse who won't speak back, but I hardly see that as a woman having it 'easier' than a man.
I think while people insist that the opposite sex have it easy all we are doing is bluring the thing we should really be focusing on, how to get better and heal. It's very easy to blame our problems on our gender and accept no responsibility, but I don't see how it improves anything at all.
I have a wonderful boyfriend who is shy, and when a lot of sa guys hear this they start going on about how I'm so lucky to be a female because he obviously made the first move, well, he didn't. I did. I was the one who went after him and made all the first moves, and female or male, making the first moves when you have sa is anything but easy! But I took responsibility for myself and my needs and I did what I had to do, I didn't hide behind my gender insisting a man had to approach me. And I don't think males should hide behind their gender either, I think before anyone can really improve from sa they have to stop placing the blame on other people.
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