Social Anxiety & Alcohol

Johnie · Posted: Sun Dec 19, 2004 5:50 pm Post subject: Social Anxiety & Alcohol

With the Christmas party season here, how do SAs feel about drinking?

It seems to me that the whole (99%) of socializing revolves around alcohol, and it's becoming even more the thing as time goes by.

Most people say that drinking lowers their inhibitions and makes them more sociable, but with me it seems to have the opposite effect. My SA seems to fight against the effects of becoming drunk, and it makes me even more dizzy and very, very much more remote than when I'm sober. I seem to retreat into a shell.

Sometimes when this happens, other people try to CHEER ME UP by plying me with EVEN MORE DRINKS. How misled can they be?

Even if I go all the way with drinking, to the point when I throw up, I do not go thru' a period when I enjoy it. I just feel compelled to leave the scene long before then, even if it means hiding in the men's room or talking all the way home.
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I have a family background regarding drink. My paternal grandfather was a serious drinker who was always in fights, being thrown out of pubs and coming home to beat up the missus and the kids. It followed from this that my father was very anti-drink; to the point of it being an obsession.

Like me, my parents never had friends or a social life, so I was just not introduced into socializing, parties, drinking, etc.
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Years ago I remember being invited to a "stag" night, before my sister got married. They felt obliged to ask me, and I felt I could not refuse. The only guy I knew in the group way my sister's boyfriend; and even him not much.

We went around to a local nightclub, about 15 of us, and we sat around a table right under the loudspeakers. The noise was so loud that the table was shaking and there were waves on the beers, and it was as hot as hell. Then we took the usual turns taking the tray to the bar to refill with beers; there was no way I could slow the pace much.

The other lads were going to and from the dance floor but I remained in my seat as usual. After an hour and a half with maybe 9 or 10 pints of beer I went to the toilet, and threw up. The bouncers gave me a mop and made me clean up the mess on the floor. Then I just sneaked off home, which was only 10 minutes walk away.

This episode in a way damaged me a bit, in the head. It left a permanent impression on me that I never really got over. Enjoyment? I would rather stick red-hot knives into my eyes!
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In following years I managed to avoid any real drinking, tho' I would have a pint or two once a week when the lads went out from work at Friday lunchtime. They also held a night out at the end of each month when they went out on the booze, but I didn't go. I tried to suggest once that if they did something different occasionally, rather then go drinking, then I would go with them. Went down like a lead balloon!

Every year the company would have a Christmas Dinner, on the last afternoon before we closed down for the break. By this time I was one of the gaffers, so I felt I could not refuse.

In the early years I would try to keep up with all the boys, drinking in the bar before the meal, bottles of wine with the meal, a whisky or brandy to finish then back to the bar for a few more lagers. Then a bus would pick us all up, and a lot of the lads would go on into town to start over. I would go home at this point. I hated this, it just seemed that everyone else was having a good time save me.

After a few years of this I started to ease back on the drinking, and just eat as much as I felt like and leave the rest. (Eating in public is also a problem with me). This I found tolerable, just keeping a low profile. I also found that I preferred high concentration drinks (like whiskey) rather than beer or lager, which tended to bloat me up with liquid.
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I live in the NE of England, where it seems that drinking is the only thing, almost a machismo obligation. It seems than not drinking is not an option, if you want anything of a social life. Is it possible to change other people's attitudes to accommodate your own preferences? When the people you want to change are not even your friends (because I don't have any), and don't want to change themselves?

Johnie.

Nital · Posted: Sun Dec 19, 2004 7:54 pm Post subject:

drinking definitely works for me. When I'm drunk i can definitely talk to girls more easily (or at least they are drunk too so they don't care), the problem is that most alcohol tastes so fucking bad that i can't stand it. I can never finish a whole beer, it is the most vile disgusting taste ever. and being sick from alcohol and sleeping next to the toilet so you can wake up to vomit every hour isnt fun either.

Dill · Posted: Sun Dec 19, 2004 8:12 pm Post subject:

The one thing I like about alcohol is that when I take it I start to be myself. With no anxiety.
So what I do is take a couple of beers and start socializing so when the effect wears off then I can act myself without alcohol.

It works for me.

edit · Posted: Sun Dec 19, 2004 9:15 pm Post subject:

maybe you should start or look for a "straight edge" group out there.
i dunno, but i've never had a drink in my life and its because of the same situation of watching the pops drunk, abusive , stupid, taking the money for the food or rent to get drunk, i've lost respect for my pops, he is a jealous child who all he wants in life is money.

ricky · Posted: Sun Dec 19, 2004 10:26 pm Post subject:

Yer, it does help me relax alot of the times and just have fun, but i cant stand the taste of beer and spirits make me sick really easily Shocked

so its hard 4 me to wanna drink really coz sumtimes i can make myself feel worse with drinkin.

Demise · Posted: Mon Dec 20, 2004 1:52 pm Post subject:

i hate drinking also the taste of it sux and the buzz sux to, u should maybe get some benzos from india there anti anxiety med which would prolly help u enjoy ur self better jus take the odd one for a hard social situation, tho there not a good mix with booze can cause seizures but some people love them together heh, i stick with the chemicals me hehe there lot of fun, e's, speed, cocaine. they all have bad aftereffects tho like increased anxiety. i really wish natural drugs were avalibale like good quality weed and opium, there good social drugs with no hangover. only thing bout opium is its suppose to be very addictive. but least its not toxic like booze.

felix · Guest

Yeah, i like drinking, but prob too much as well. I find its when I have the most fun, you can show people who u r for once. Maybe if u had a drink before you went out you would be more relaxed by the time you were at the party or whatever, and it would be more fun. Or maybe some people just don't react well to alcohol Confused

Johnie · Posted: Tue Dec 21, 2004 9:29 pm Post subject:

Nital · Posted: Wed Dec 22, 2004 12:13 am Post subject:

Johnie · Posted: Wed Dec 22, 2004 9:48 pm Post subject: