Not like everyone else.

Norseman · Newbie User Joined: Mar 03, 2007 Posts: 2 Location: Norway

Hi.

I created an account here a while back, but this will be my first post here.

I am a 25 year old male living in a small city in Norway.
I've been suffering from social phobia since the age of twelve, but I first learned the correct term when I was about 14 from a television programme.

Social phobia has ruined my life.
I couldn't concentrate well in school, so my grades were lousy.
I sought the quickest way of getting through it, and so I am stuck in a job that I have come to absolutely hate.

The few friends I have left after school to live elsewhere and I have become incredibly secluded, the only time I go out is for work or to buy food and liquor.
The liquor comes to good use on nights like this when I feel particularly sorry for myself.

I'm considering going back to school but, my self-confidence just gets worse each passing day.

My biggest fear is that life will stay this way, growing old being lonely and bitter.

NewYawker83 · Newbie User Joined: May 06, 2007 Posts: 18

Heyy, I'm a 23 year old male from New York, USA.

I've been a socially phobic guy for most of my life. I never got involved in any extracurricular activities at school and had no close friendships at all. I wasn't hated and I'd like to think I'm pretty good looking, but it was just my nature to be avoiding and distant.

I did EXCELLENT in school, though...all the way through college (I graduated from St. John's University last year with high honors). But again, all I did was bury myself in books and I didn't have any friends.

After graduation, I got a night job at a lab. Went very well until they laid me off last December. Now all I've been doing is collecting unemployment pay and staying secluded at home with my mom and brother. Life feels so boring right now with nothing to do but sleep and think too much.

I'm going to graduate school for my Ph.D at SJU in a couple months, and I'm dreading it. I feel that I've lost my drive with education, work, and life in general. What am I going to do?

Perhaps we can help each other out, Norseman. Any suggestions? If you'd like to call me sometime (unless that's a lot of money to do so) or talk to me on AOL instant messenger (DiCodexx is the name), I'd be honored. Get back to me when you can. I'm in this together with you.

~Paul~

NewYawker83 · Newbie User Joined: May 06, 2007 Posts: 18

And for all I know, I'm tempted to just visit you in Norway and start a whole life over again somewhere new.......just having the thought that there's somebody out there like me really helps a lot

Norseman · Newbie User Joined: Mar 03, 2007 Posts: 2 Location: Norway

Thanks Paul.
I'd love to chat.
I have added you on AIM. Smile

elProscrito · Newbie User Joined: Aug 22, 2005 Posts: 41

Spearmint · Newbie User Joined: Jan 30, 2007 Posts: 81

NewYawker83 · Newbie User Joined: May 06, 2007 Posts: 18

Heyyy Spearmint, thanks for all the encouragement Smile

Part of my problem also is that I hate it when people ask you very nosy questions, particularly co-workers...like they say "are you single, married, etc". As in my case, I prefer to be single and not get involved with anybody in a sexual manner. That's just how I do things, and sometimes people respond very weirdly or they become very judgmental about me, which I can't stand. It only leads me to become more anxious and embarrassed.

In a situation like this, what's the best way of dealing with it? Sometimes I think I'm sexually frustrated or confused, and that could definitely contribute to my social phobia. I appear "normal" to everybody, but I have this undying fear that they're going to think differently about me sooner or later down the road. How do I get rid of that feeling???

Ahhhh its been difficult these past couple months. HELPPPP!

P.S. If you've ever listened to Morrissey (of The Smiths), he's AMAZING. Great lyrics, great music...I highly recommend him to anyone experiencing social phobia/anxiety. I could listen to him all day and not care about anything else. He keeps me alive, to say the least Smile

JaneDoe · Newbie User Joined: Jun 08, 2007 Posts: 7

I have the same thing you guys have, only what I have is a beyond extreme self-imposed reclusion called hikikomori. My high-school principal has said that he had never seen anybody skipping school like me in his entire twenty something career. I dropped out of school when I was 16 and from that day it was game over for my life. I chose for my life to just stop.

@ NewYawker83
I was searching for information about Morrissey and his own case of social phobia and this discussion was like the third result I got. And I'm a bit stunned to see there's actually a website for people like us. And you talking about Morrissey, a singer I've just discovered a like a week ago. I'm 20my and I had never heard of him, but now that I have heard his haunting songs they will not leave me be. It might sound incredible but I'm already hooked on The Smiths' cd Meat Is Murder. I registered so I could tell you this.