Joined: Jul 02, 2004 Posts: 3 Location: United Kingdom
Posted: Sat May 19, 2007 8:11 pm Post subject: Almost 25 years old, and never had a girlfriend...
This is quite painful for me. I'm 25 years old and never had a girlfriend. Not quite sure why this is, but as far back as my early teens I've been very shy around women. I really don't know what happened to me, and feel there's somthing fundamentally wrong with me. Sometimes feel like I was born under a bad star, or cursed or something, and deep down absulutely can't beleive I've never been in a relationship, as even some disabled people , and people with serious problems have had romantic relationships by this age.
Get annoyed when people say that they just "fell into a relationship" or that "relationships form on their own" and crap like that! How can relationships "just happen"? I've been around a lot of women and know relationships don't just happen. It takes a lot of effort and guts and confidence on the man's part. It seems that unless a man asks a woman out (in exactly the way she wants), and takes the lead EVERY SINGLE STEP OF THE WAY, a relationship will never happen. Seems also like if the man doesn't do everything ABSOLUTELY PERFECTLY during a date, the woman will get rid of him. People who say that romantic relationships form on their own are liars. Why has one never formed for me?
Get upset and jealous a lot as I walk down the street and see couples together kissing, or holding hands, and wishing I could be with that woman instead of him. Haven't had sex in nearly six years, and I REALLY miss the feeling of holding a woman's body close to mine while making love to her
When ever I've asked a woman out they always have a boyfriend, or it never goes beyond the first date, and I take rejection very poorly. Feel so much anger, anxiety, hurt, confusion and stress about dating women it's unbelievable. Been told I'm attractive, so guess that's not the problem. Guess it's a combination of shyness, fear of rejection, very bad luck, and that I just don't know what to do to make a woman my lover/girlfriend.
Hated, I mean REALLY hated women for a while, coz was constanly being turned-down by them, or they played games with me, or chose other men over me. Now I don't even ask them out anymore. Even felt like committing suicide a few times, but I know that won't solve anything. Want to be with someone so badly, and hold her close, you have no idea how much...
You´re still young man. Try to work some basic things in your appearance like changing your cloth style, hairstyle, do some workout, etc and try to get out more. You just have to train your conversations with women and you just have to go for it like begining a conversation with your female colleagues, neighbours, etc etc. You just have to do something. Have positive thinking man. Sooner or later things will work for you if you persist.
I wish all the good luck for you!
don't worry, it will happen (and i'm not just being nice). i know a girl who is 27 and has exactly the same problem. do you work with women? i think that proximity is the key to relationships. maybe just try and make sure that you put yourself in lots of situations where there are women. do you have any hobbies? club meetings are a great place to meet people with similar interests. that way you have a better chance at a good relationship rather than just a relationship with anyone. have you ever considered a dating service like lava life? i know a few people who do that and they seem to have dates like every night of the week. good luck and don't give up!
If there is something wrong it's most likely not with you, but in the way you act which can be changed. Women may SAY that they want a nice guy but submissive men are in truth not attractive to them
im in the same boat too. im 24. i have been close to having relationships couple of times but it didnt work out. im just too shy and socially retarded plus i have mutism. that is very nice package
Quote:
don't worry, it will happen
when?
_________________ stop the thinking and start the doing
I'm A LOT worse off than most of you, but I'm gonna work at it. I'm gonna work at even if it takes 20 years. Sure, some guys are born with the looks, personality, confidence, etc. But that doesn't mean I'm gonna let them have all the fun.
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