social lottery

steel_sparks · Newbie User Joined: Mar 25, 2007 Posts: 32 Location: Wales

i wrote this after a night out well i say night out i mean a night sitting in a club drinking hoping someone i know comes in so i dont look like such a loner,

Social lottery

mentally imprisoned behind invisible walls
trapped from the inside afraid of the falls
fear acts like ropes tying me down
hating myself and all of this town

social excursions run through my head
but real life examples I'd rather be dead
frozen in time no easy way out
hoping for something but it all counts for nowt

constant worry and the inevitable attack
from inside defenses or behind my turned back
i know all this worry is pointless
if only i could just fix all this mess

pacing my room to save facing myself
listen to music or read book from the shelf
all to escape to avoid the frustration
try all the time to forget the nation

i wish i was different wish i was better
that i could talk to people
not just in a letter

words are so easy they flow from the pen
but my mouth doesn't seem to have time for them
it refuses to open when put under stress
but shuts completely, won't even say yes

now asking for help that's my next option
but asking's the problem so how will that happen
and what will they do will they know how to help
i don't even know what could be wrong
so how can someone else make me strong

is it just lack of experience of irrational fears
that keeps me from talking
that traps me right here

it's not always bad theres ups and downs
but theres always the feeling of social strains
with women it's worse i might get some attention
but i cower and mumble and wish for ascension

but never give up is my new favourite motto
one day I'll hit jackpot in this social lotto

jayo · Posted: Wed Oct 24, 2007 12:20 pm Post subject:

Beautiful sentiments - well done!

_________________
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