Posted: Sat Nov 03, 2007 5:57 am Post subject: Has anyone done this...
Im wondering if there is someone diagnosed with OCD that experiences this....
I've had intrusive thoughts of violent images, existential thoughts and doubt...but for a while i've been experiencing something new...for example: I know im not a bad person and im not violent. But its like someone is feeding thoughts into my head or my brain is talking to me telling me im violent inside and I will loose control and hurt someone. so when I tell myself "im a good person" I know inside I am, but it almost feels like im in doubt of that fact. Also sometimes I can make a body movment and it feels to me that i acted it out in a sadistic evil way; it can be something as simple as waving at someone, inside its like in a split second it seems that i was acting that way, but I know I didn't. I know this will sound odd to most of you. I've been diagnosed with OCD and Anxiety, I would just be grateful to know if anyone else can identify with this.
Posted: Sat Nov 03, 2007 1:17 pm Post subject: Re: Has anyone done this...
de-vin wrote:
Im wondering if there is someone diagnosed with OCD that experiences this....
I've had intrusive thoughts of violent images, existential thoughts and doubt...but for a while i've been experiencing something new...for example: I know im not a bad person and im not violent. But its like someone is feeding thoughts into my head or my brain is talking to me telling me im violent inside and I will loose control and hurt someone. so when I tell myself "im a good person" I know inside I am, but it almost feels like im in doubt of that fact. Also sometimes I can make a body movment and it feels to me that i acted it out in a sadistic evil way; it can be something as simple as waving at someone, inside its like in a split second it seems that i was acting that way, but I know I didn't. I know this will sound odd to most of you. I've been diagnosed with OCD and Anxiety, I would just be grateful to know if anyone else can identify with this.
I got to the same place during CBT therapy. We had worked for numerous sessions and I really felt like I was much better than before. However, like you, I still had that nagging feeling that I was really just an evil person. And like you I felt like inside I was trying to believe that I was good (I knew I was) but at the same time it felt like I was still telling myself that it was a lie and I was really evil.
I had no idea how to get around that so I just told me therapist that I felt like I was lying to myself when I said that I was a good person, not evil. We did several more sessions around that that were very very helpful.
Also, in regards to the video games, you can try to avoid violent games, music, television, movies, music, etc. as much as you want but it will just make things worse for OCD. Avoidance is what reaffirms OCD. Just like people with contamination OCD, the more they wash the worse it gets. The more they try to avoid contaminates the more they fear them.
My advice is to seek a professional therapist who specializes in OCD if you haven't already and consider your options for treatment. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy worked very well for me and I would highly recommend it.
De-vin
Right on man. I have the same things going on. I Know I have OCD and that these are just intrusive unrealistic thoughts, and I really dont want these things to happen, but when I am going through a OCD spell none of my knowledge is relative. I truly feel an overwelming fear that I am just kidding myself and that I am actually an evil person . Why else would I have these thoughs if I wasnt? Weird thing is when I'm not in having an OCD spell I Know that they are just unrealistic thoughts .
my godness, eventhough it's intrusive, but still a thought.
thought could never be the reality.
the only thing u all need to do is relax and talk to ur mentor or someone can make u relaxed.
if u can change ur mind not only focus on those wired thoughts, nothing wrong anymore.
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. Why else would I have these thoughs if I wasnt? Weird thing is when I'm not in having an OCD spell I Know that they are just unrealistic thoughts 
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