on the edge of sanity

grissom · Newbie User Joined: Oct 14, 2006 Posts: 61 Location: UK

i feel suicidal but im too scared to do it. i feel in tune with the earth, as if i understand about livin or dying (i know i sound a bit mad) but i think i respect life. but as i hav hyperhidrosis - sorry if you think im gross but please imagine you were uncontrollably sweatin everyday for 7 yrs - it kinda makes u depressed and alone, feeling worthless and that u can never be close to any1... but yeah im a suicidal and depressed person. im not the bestlooking persno in the world and im extremely paranoid. i dont knw my personality. cos idnt think i have 1. all i seem to do is worry sum1 will despise me cos of my condition. (sorry if imgonig on, im not really self absorbed like an emo - who i hate - im studyin them for a uni project and found thru research that all they care about is themselbes but they r so hypocritical cos they say theyre suicidal but then pose.. bastards)
so yeh, although im not religious and not sure about God etc. im still sscared that the whole christianity and god and bible thing is the truth and im worried that i cant even think suicidal cos wot about ppl who r worse off than me. but still ic ant help feelin like theres no point to my existence. and to all those ppl - mainly emos - who say they arent afraid of death. thats bullshit. cos if uve noticed all these natural disaster hollywood blockbuster films usse the natural disasters as a way of bondin ALL humankind cos its 1 t hing we hav NO clue about etc so every1 is scared of the unknown really... so i try to hav more respect for my life but i detest myself so much that im just a hypocrite and then im confused. i am a bit drunk now only cos i cant cope bein myself as wen im sober im more aware and critical of myself. sorry if im babblin bout me - im not emo i swear! im just desperate... but not suicidal and attention seekin... im just lost/ im always scared im gonna go mental... and end up in an instution.. maybe i need to join a religion to hav stability in life and guidance. i think thats all religion does/ its just there to stop u going mad cos believin in 1 thing wont make uconfused and will help u live ur life in a gd way.
holy shit im babblin. feeel free to mock.
sorry again
nicx

de-vin · Newbie User Joined: Nov 01, 2007 Posts: 80

Hey I have depression/anxiety and OCD, which as you know it fucking sucks basically...I understand how your feeling, i've been there lots in my life...I think I may have some solutions for you...anyway here goes...

I don't have your sweat disorder, but my meds make me sweat real bad and I really do know how nasty it makes you feel and embarrasing it can be...if someone asks I usually just say "oh yea thats my love juice coming out" or something like that. Make a joke out of it and they know they can't make fun of you lol...

Im not religious either, im agnostic, and thinking about god, existance and all that bugs the hell out of me...but when it comes down to it you just have to look at it as if your playing a game I soppose...of course their is no apparent reason for existance, so I think you have to make your own...my reason is that I have no clue about what the reason is so that means I don't know anything...but i've been thrown into this game without a meaning...so who knows maybe when I die I might go to hell...I doubt I will but im not going to commit suicide and find out b4 my time..you know what I mean?....so Im going to stay in this game and try to figure out my own meaning..thats the object of this game called life...

If you have any other questions or need to get it out just send me a personal messege..

-Devin-

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-Devin-

AvinaKo · Newbie User Joined: Sep 21, 2007 Posts: 50

I've got OCD, anxiety, hyperhidrosis (and, yes, it's awfully gross- but I'm allowed to say this because I have it xP), and I'm beginning to think depression, too. I can't tell if I'm upset (or anything else, really) anymore.

I don't have a religion. I'm leaning towards (Buddhism, too, but eh) Satanism, though... Solely for the fact that it goes with *most* of things I already think, but I'm seriously not going to spend 200$ or whatever for membership to the "Church" or whatever. I don't do church. Meh. Anyway. You don't need a religion to make you feel happy or anything at all. If you want to get one, though, good luck.

de-vin · Newbie User Joined: Nov 01, 2007 Posts: 80

Im pretty content with beign agnostic...faith only goes so far, how can I base my life on something that I have no proof of, i might as well worship an invisable spagetti monster in the sky. I mostly worry about my own existance and how the hell we were made. Anyway how haev you been lately? And How old are you..im 17

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-Devin-