Blushing is ruining my life. I hate it!

Milo · Newbie User Joined: Mar 06, 2008 Posts: 7

I'm new to this site, just joined a few minutes ago. I have suffered from anxiety since I was 15, I am 18 now. At age 16 I had agoraphobia and I was terrified to leave my house due to the fact that I was afraid of people. I told my therapist my symptoms of shaking when I was called on or criticized in front of others by a teacher or at my job. This was only the start of it, then blushing came into my life and it keeps holding me back from a life that I want. When I was 17 my blushing left, but came back about two months ago. I was living a perfect life until some angry customer had something to say to me then I felt afraid and what are people gonna think of me. I then turned red. I swear to christ if we weren't at my work in front of a group of people then I would talk the same way that person talked to me. I mean, Im 6'1 235 and I have this problem. I've tried everything, been on medication such as Prozac and clonopin, went to a psychiatrist and to a homeopathic doctor (makes natural remedies). Nothing has worked and I'm so fed up with this life. I'm not suicidal, I just want a change.

It seems like my social phobia has become a part of me since the day it first happened to me and now I can't shake it. I've been homeschooled for two years now because it has got so bad and to add to that I am going away to college in the fall. I want to be healed from it so bad. I hate people because they make me nervous. I love animals. I am afraid of college. I fear getting called on and not knowing the answer, then turning red, and I fear I will be criticized by a teacher or students for my blushing in front a group of people. I'm religious too, and have been praying for a change, but in three years the man above hasn't helped. To be honest with you this SA and blushing is hindering me from living the life that I want. I have a low self of steam and low confidence level. I was a star athlete, now I am a blushing nervous reck who looks like a bodyguard.

These are my symptoms and when my blushing occurs.
1. When I'm talking to someone in authority (even one on one): boss, teacher I'll blush and wont be able to stop it.

2. I'll blush when I'm cashiering at my work because I feel people are looking at me. Sometimes they will say something rude to me or try to tell me something or laugh at me then I'll blush.

3. Blushing in front of people who stare.

4. I blushed a ton when I went to school due to my SP and thought I overcame it, but I did not. The next person who insults me is going to get it right back. I'm not afraid to fight a person because I can stand my ground, but I am afraid of getting into social situations where i might turn red.

I've tried to fill my head with positive thoughts when i feel im about to blush, but it doesn't work. I'm usually not a cashier, but when I am it sucks. I hate people!

Does anyone have any solutions? I'm going to my psychologist on Thursday and am going to talk to her about blushing medications probably clonidine. To add to this I am going to Michigan State University in the fall. Has anyone had success with any or has anyone had success overcoming blushing with meds? Please help.

sidney · Posted: Tue Mar 11, 2008 10:43 pm Post subject:

so far no, ive not had any luck, but i do understand the hell your going through, nobody can really understand what we go through everyday, to them it seems so simple or even weird to worry about it so much but it can be so cripling that they dont have a clue. If they had what we had they'd probably have given in by now or been cut down to size. . *sigh* if only they knew Sad

oh and it happens everyday in skool, sucks mate im even terrified of som teachers cus of it & people are gettin the wrong ideas about the way i act, so frustrating!!