Posted: Sun Mar 09, 2008 3:20 am Post subject: Can't answer the phone. Very private. ashamed. empty
i know i have social anxiety but it iwll take a long time before i get in an office to do something about it. meanwhile i dont answer the phone.. and when i look at it or get a messege from someone who wants to 'hang out' with me.. i get so anxious and scared its terrible. iv lost every relaitonship i ever had. it just seems hopeless. i want to die so bad. i dont have the strength for any else. my mind is so consumed by loss and fear.. and from years of bottling up my thoughts and emotions..
i dont see myself ever being happy. i wish death was in front of me. and was painless. i wish i had never existed. i want to end the pain. i am consumed with anxiety
Posted: Sun Mar 09, 2008 3:31 am Post subject: ...
I totally understand how you feel 100%. I was in that situation and well now i don't go out anywhere. I am 16 years old and a senior in HS and i just go to school and come back home and sleep and use the computer. The only person that i speak to on the phone is my bf and when the phone is ringing, i get extremely nervous and anxious. I hate talking to people on the phone, people annoy me, in school lets just say that i am a loser. Sometimes i do wish i was dead, i just feel like i will never be happy. Perhasp, being happy wasn't made for me but i seriously don't have any hope or plan for the future. I hope you get better, i am not trying to be more negative or anything. I was just trying to let you know that you are not alone.
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I tend it find it harder to make calls than to receive them although I still get very anxious.