ANXIETY: Grass is always greener somewhere else

jh3art · Newbie User Joined: Mar 19, 2008 Posts: 8

Does anyone know how this relates to anxiety? I find that when I fail in social situations, I find retribution by finding something new... a new social group, a different location.

Last night I was in a circle of friends smoking huka and I just felt like I couldn't pull myself together no matter what. I was overly apprehensive, fidgety, and sporatic in behavior. And this was a pretty chill group. They don't demand much out of me, but I feel like I have to live up to standards that I don't know. (standards that I've accomplished in the past). I also feel like if just one variable in the situation changed, I would've been able to relex and be natural, because I CAN be a quite sociable guy alot of the time.

I find myself judging myself constantly and trying to fix everything so that things go perfect, but the difficult part is that I CAN'T STOP MYSELF when I'm doing it. I tell myself to relax, but then I lost further sight of the situation. The result is that I self destructed and told myself "I have to get out of here. NOW." I just want to be normal, you know? Insofar that Im not awkward. In principle I don't mind being unique, but Im losing sight of the fine line that seperates the the word with awkward.

The result is that I fail, and look for greener pastures, new places, new things. My anxiety makes people dislike being around me, so I find something else, something new...

Forgot to mention, I have symtoms of being avoidant personality disorder...

jaidacoy · Newbie User Joined: Mar 02, 2008 Posts: 12

I JUST WANTED TO say.. that i feel your pain. i can't stay still.. i get anxious.. nervous. i feel like im ganna pass out. i can't sit through normal seminars.. or classes... because i get so uncontrollably anxious.. its very tough..

i like that u said u find something new.. which is a good thing.. a non destructive thing.. BUT it just doesn't get to the route of the problem and may be used as a coping strategy. i think it would benefit you more.. to think of your anxiety in numbers.. when you feel like ure a 50 from 1 to 100.. just try and get the anxiety down.. lower it.. take it t0 40.. 30.. 10.. just keep trying to lower it bit by bit.. in your brain.. i noticed this gave me emidiate relief from pretty bad attacks.