Help? Looking for advice...

mlbfan30 · Newbie User Joined: Mar 27, 2008 Posts: 2

Here's my situation...I hope it's not too long.

I'm 20. I go to a private engineering school. I'm really smart and I look very good. But I have a very hard time socializing. I've always been very quiet my entire life, and I don't know how to change that. More backround.... Between 7-14 i was a gymnast, and a very good one. I basically had zero friends from school and just went to the gym everyday. I went there from school until 7:00 then did Homework. But I didn't really care since I loved the sport. Then I suffered a back injury that forced me to quit. I can't really explain how much that hurts emotionally, even today. Then going though HS I played soccer and kind of felt left out the entire time. I'm really athletic so I love playing sports, it's when I'm most comfortable. But I might have had 2-3 friends in HS who lived close by. I went to college and my parents moved to another state, so now I don't know anyone there. But back to school... I'm kind of stuck in a situation where I know so many people around me from classes or w/e, but I don't know how to become friends with them. The main thing is I don't know what to say, for anything. I'll give 1 word answers and that's it. Its just really frustrating. I don't like being around large groups of people, especially ones I don't know. I want to be outgoing, but I just don't know how. Back to sports... I joined the diving team as a freshman and again I kind of felt out of place with the swimmers. Several people were really friendly, and I tried to be friendly back, but it just didn't work. I wanted to be friends with them but again I didn't know how. But because of diving causing my injury to hurt more, I decided to get another surgery over the summer. (last summer). It really sucked since I didn't know anyone, was in horrible pain, and was stuck inside for 3 months. I get back to school and the school won't let me dive because of the surgery. I really liked diving, and the people I dove with, but i wasn't allowed to do it. My back actually hurts more now than before the 2nd surgery, so I havn't been able to play sports at all. I've been stuck in my room doing homework with pretty much no interaction with other people. I'm very emotionless. I rarely laugh or smile and look angry all the time (even tho i'm not). I'm so quiet everywhere I go. I'm just getting tired of it, but i dont know what to do. I'm not sure if I'm depressed, have SAD (which i just heard of), or something else. I'm not sure if being in 24/7 pain has anything to do with it, or limited social interaction when I was younger, or something actually messed up in the brain. It seems like life is monotonous and boring. I'm extremely unhappy and have been for a long time, but I don't know how to change that.

I know this was poorly organized, and might be in the wrong section, but I'd like to see what other people have to say.

mlbfan30 · Newbie User Joined: Mar 27, 2008 Posts: 2

Nobody has anything to say?

ghostpicnic · Newbie User Joined: Mar 30, 2008 Posts: 26

I think what helps is to just talk to people you want to talk to. Maybe you are too focused on how you have nothing to say that it prevents you from having something to say.
I think it is social anxiety.

Maybe if you talked by paying attention to others, you will find that there are many things to talk about. It also helps to try to notice their level of mood and awareness of the social situation as then there will be some mutual understandings.
If you feel like you still don't have anything to talk about, it might be that you're afraid of being rejected for something you might say.

My 2 cents.