Posted: Sat Mar 29, 2008 11:35 pm Post subject: Why am I pushing my love away?
I have this boy I like, well my boyfriend but anyway, I seem to be pushing him away, I am beginning to stop talking to him, I am beginning to argue with him, over stupid little things... I just don't know why I am pushing him away, I wan him with me, I don't want to drive him away. So why am I pushing him away?
Maybe you have APD, thats what we do, we push people away wen it gets to intimate, we hurt them on purpose, we start to treat them like crap, and we suffer like hell about it, we know we are doing something we dont want, but we just cant stop, and because they dont know we have a problem we cant control, they back off, leave us.
Maybe thats the reason you are pushing that boy away
Avoidant personality disorder, a real bastard to have for a companion.
Theres is a lot of information about it on the net, read it and see if it rings any bels.
But mark this, not all APD suferers have the same profile.
Joined: Feb 19, 2008 Posts: 46 Location: The Netherlands
Posted: Sun Mar 30, 2008 9:13 pm Post subject: Re: Why am I pushing my love away?
portal wrote:
I have this boy I like, well my boyfriend but anyway, I seem to be pushing him away, I am beginning to stop talking to him, I am beginning to argue with him, over stupid little things... I just don't know why I am pushing him away, I wan him with me, I don't want to drive him away. So why am I pushing him away?
Are you honest in expressing how you feel towards him? Are you true to your own feelings and desires?
By not talking to him, your feelings towards him are dishonest, because it makes absolutely no sence to push him away. Do you tell him how much you enjoy being around him, do you enjoy the intimacy? Playing aloof and hard to get, will only lead to hurt feelings. He likes you, you like him, you two are past the point of "playing it cool", stay true to your feelings.
When you argue over silly little things, it's interesting to ask yourself what is the real reason behind it. It's not the fact that he leaves the toilet seat up (random stuff that might annoy you) that actually bothers you all that much. Sure it might be annoying if you asked him to not do something and he agrees and then does it anyway, but it's nothing worth fighting over. Try to look past the surface, what's troubling you, why are you pushing him away. Is it that you fear rejection so much you would rather walk the path of self sabotage and kill all the intimacy you guys are enjoying right now.
This aloofness is obviously just a facade to hide your real feelings, your real emotions towards him and towards yourself in particular. Tell him how you feel, let him know what's on your mind. Your BF will love the fact that you are showing your true self and you want him to be part of your world. Personally I find this a bonding experience, I love to know what's on my girlfriends mind.
Don't expect him to read your mind, because he can't. Stay true to your feelings always.
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