Am I avoidant or is it something more?

lisha · Newbie User Joined: Apr 11, 2008 Posts: 1

I'm 28 and have had some type of mental problem since I was around 13. I've been diagnosed with SA, PTSD, and OCD. I was also diagnosed bipolar, but the Dr. took it back, then I was diagnosed with borderline, and the DR. decided that wasn't it either. My problem with seeing the Dr was that I was to afraid to her that I can't hardly go out in public with out thinking that people are looking at me, judging me, making fun of me. If I do go out, even if it is just to the store, I have to have some kind of company with me, and if it's a quick run, I make them go inside for me. I was incredibly scared the Dr. would tell me I was schyzophranic and yet I knew that I didn't fit the schyzophranic category. I don't have a fear of people being out to get me, I just always worry that they are judging me, looking at me, thinking I am an idiot. My entire life I have been told by my closest friends,(which are few and far between) that their first impression was I was a stuck up snob. And that couldn't be more far from the truth. I just come across some articles that described the AP personality and it was like reading about myself. I have never been able to hold a job because I get so anxious and worried that I am going to look like an idiot or that people won't like me. I just happen to be so lucky to have a great husband who doesn't mind taking care of me. But this entire situation tears me apart. I have 2 children and would love to go on field trips with them, and I can't even bring my self to do that. Does this sound like APD to anyone else, or something more severe?

spaz · Posted: Fri Apr 11, 2008 1:29 am Post subject:

If the criteria for Avoidant Personality Disorder seem to fit you, then you might have it. APD is simply a more severe form of social anxiety that is longer lasting. Personality disorders often start early on in life and are enduring. You could almost consider them to be a part of your personality, in the same way that someone might be considered to have an extroverted personality.

So, you might have both APD but the only person who can tell you is a psychiatrist. Don't be afraid to tell your doctor about your symptoms as they are they ones who can start to help. I was afraid for years and then when it got too much I went to a psychiatrist, who has helped so much. I have APD and show signs of Dependent PD and Obsessive PD. But I am dealing with it by taking medication and doing CBT.I think you need to do both to get any good results. My life is getting better every day, but I know that I will have to deal with these issues for a long time.