Posted: Mon May 05, 2008 2:36 am Post subject: I'm Pissed!!
Ive been reading the forum and guys I think every1 is making things way 2 complicated i.e. should we cure SA with NLP, Cognitive, spiritual blah blah blah. NO!
EXPOSURE, EXPOSURE ,EXPOSURE. Get it in2 ur heads aaaaargh! Its so annoying there IS NOT an easier way. There's no magic pill. exposure is the best way and most effective way you don't need any other fucking method. Research proves it over and over take a hint!!!
NOW SHUTUP AND WATCH and don't any1 here make an angry comeback thread to this its 4 ur own good!
Joined: Feb 08, 2008 Posts: 83 Location: Daegu, South Korea
Posted: Mon May 05, 2008 4:29 am Post subject:
Exposure comes with time. This site helps during the in between times and can be either motivational or depressing... it depends on what you do with it. I personally have found it to be both from time to time.
I agree though... I feel VERY good about my SA now, to the point where I go out a lot, have friends and can work as a teacher with no anxiety, and the only way I got there was to force myself to do as much as I could. It's true: EXPOSURE! EXPOSURE! EXPOSURE! ... but people need to get there in thier own time so they don't freak out and get worse for it.
_________________ "There is a girl in New York City who calls herself the human trampoline, and sometimes when I'm falling, flying or tumbling in turmoil I say, 'Whoa, so this is what she means.'"
- Paul Simon
Posted: Mon May 05, 2008 8:18 pm Post subject: It's a good point
For most people exposure will help but many people avoid it.
I'd also point out that the underlying cause of Social Phobia IMO is a lack of self esteem. A person must examine how or why they think the thoughts that they aren't good enuf, other people are thinking bad things about you, etc and then REPROGRAM their mind/thoughts to be loving towards themselves.
This takes more than exposure- this takes time, effort, self hypnosis tapes, support groups, therapy, caring for children, old people or animals, many things. And as you point out- none of them are a magic cure... but they have worked for me, so that's all I really can base my opinion on. Exposure helped me alot...but these other things helped just as much. Thanks for your post
Shield, I KNOW but it's hard. That's why we need this site, that's why we need support. It's hard. It's hard to expose yourself, it's hard to socialize, it's hard to live with anxiety. Exposure helps but it's not easy. People need support. We are all writing about what makes sense to us, what works for us, what provides us support and that's alright.
the problem is that most of us on here are on our own. I am anyway... and there is no one to help expose us.
I know i need to face my fears but it is easier to just run away and that, im afraid, is what i do everytime. advice?
No1 says u need sum1 to do exposure with. Do it alone. You have to just use willpower. Again there's no magic to it if u do it u will get better so it doesn't matter whether ur scared or not u must do it. The only advice is start off small.
Quote:
the underlying cause of Social Phobia IMO is a lack of self esteem. A person must examine how or why they think the thoughts that they aren't good enuf, other people are thinking bad things about you, etc and then REPROGRAM their mind/thoughts to be loving towards themselves.
Most of the self-esteem problems are due to a negative feedback loop. A typical example- 'Bullied at school - Individual develops perception that they are unattractive - This leads to avoidance - perception cannot be disproved - self-esteem lowered. The antidote is develop a positive feedback cycle. So continually expose yourself to people- become more relaxed - get better reactions - develop the perception that ur attractive. Personally I have tried affirmations and changing my beliefs but ultimately I didn't ever develop true self-esteem until I experienced success and positive feedback. Trying to brainwash yourself through affirmations works but only on a shallow level. Real self-esteem must have a foundation in reality. Otherwise I would convince myself that I am Superman by affirming it everyday.
Joined: Oct 13, 2007 Posts: 346 Location: U.S. OF A
Posted: Mon May 05, 2008 9:11 pm Post subject:
Tryin wrote:
Shield, I KNOW but it's hard. That's why we need this site, that's why we need support. It's hard. It's hard to expose yourself, it's hard to socialize, it's hard to live with anxiety. Exposure helps but it's not easy. People need support. We are all writing about what makes sense to us, what works for us, what provides us support and that's alright.
Exactly!!!
_________________ Its The Hard Knock Life... YaArRr
Shield, I KNOW but it's hard. That's why we need this site, that's why we need support. It's hard. It's hard to expose yourself, it's hard to socialize, it's hard to live with anxiety. Exposure helps but it's not easy. People need support. We are all writing about what makes sense to us, what works for us, what provides us support and that's alright.
Yes its a great thing don't get me wrong but at the same time there are a lot of threads saying I'm gonna try hypnosis or what about NLP? They are looking 4 quick fixes which aren't gonna work. But I 100% encourage free inquiry. I really do hope sum1 tries these things and cures all their problems and disproves my post. But I am sure they wont. But please no1 take my word for it. U neva know I could be talking crap so u gotta test it but all I am saying is at least experiment with exposure for a solid 6 months. U owe it to yourselfs to at least know what works!
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