Posted: Thu May 22, 2008 11:24 pm Post subject: I know I am not a pedophile, but...
I have a huge crush on a little boy. I wish my daughter was friends with him so he could come over and I could stare at him because he is beautiful. I have actually asked her to ask him if he could play at our house. I don't have pedophilic feelings, but I am obsessed that I am leaning this way and it's making me feel sick.
What if he did come over? What would happen? Right now I get all shaky when he is anywhere around.
I would just die if anyone I know knew about this. I can't stop my obsessive thinking about him and it drives me crazy.
No, not sexual. Affectionate, maybe. I just want these thoughts to go away as it is all I think of. He's the 1st thing I think of in the morning and the last thing on my mind at night. (And every waking hour in between, sigh).
it's called pocd. look it up on google. its a type of ocd that makes you fear that you attracted to kids, but you really aren't. i have hocd, which makes me fear that i am gay, which i am not. i know what u are going through and it sucks.
Joined: Oct 17, 2007 Posts: 411 Location: 'Rooooound heeeere,
Posted: Fri May 23, 2008 1:12 am Post subject:
Instead of staying afraid and repulsed of your own thoughts, move toward them. They're just thoughts. And obviously you're not really a pedophile. But for the sake of facing your fear, envision what it would be like if you were. Do you have any real sexual desire at that point, or do you still feel like a normal human being? And if you do have some desire, are you really going to act upon it? Probably not, right?
I used to get OCD type thought patterns just like that when I was little (mainly about blood and pain and stuff i was afraid of). And the only way through it is to see it will full color, and realize that these thoughts can't hurt you at all.
Any type of habitual thinking is hard to get over, but I'm sure that you can cure yourself. And if not... it still isn't going to kill you, so try not to let it ruin your life.
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I don't have pedophilic feelings, but I am obsessed that I am leaning this way and it's making me feel sick.
