Darkened

Darkened · Newbie User Joined: Jun 03, 2008 Posts: 29

Hi, I'm "Darkened", although I use another nickname in the internet world (I'm don't feel comfortable using it to talk about this problem)... Embarassed

But this way I can just feel a lot more free to express my personal issues. Wink

English is not my "native language", so I'm sorry if it isn't very good. But I actually spend the days at home, at my computer playing games, watching movies and using the "web", and that makes me feel more comfortable using English to talk about some things. I think it makes me feel less close to my personal and real life, which really sucks.

I always was very shy, but looking back I think I always had social phobia. I am now 24 years old and I try not to go out of the house, I don't have a job, don't have a girlfriend (not even female friends), don't have "very close" friends... well, you can see the picture...

My cousin a few years ago said (in a soft way) that I was "anti-social" because I refused to go with him to a girl's birthday that I barely knew.
So with the time I got curious and I searched the definition. I found out that I was not "anti-social"... I had (and have) Social Phobia. But I didn't give it much attention.

But two days ago I had nothing to do and decided do search (once more) for "shyness" at a "relationship website". It's actually one of those Men's portal with a lot of information about everything, including a zone about dating and with "Girl's points of view" + general comments by the users...

I guess I was looking for some hope that some girls would find shy guys attractive. Well, I found that that it's true, but there was a problem. The typical "shy guy" is the one that goes to bars and parties but it doesn't talk much until someone starts a conversation.
The problem is: I'm not like that. I seriously avoid that type of situations, I don't go out, I don't drink, I don't smoke, I don't know how to talk to people (even when are them to start the conversation).

So the next website I went was Youtube, to find some Social Phobia details. What I found was "Déjà vu". I saw a lot of personal videos of people with these disorder, talking about their struggling. It was like a mirror. My life was exactly like that. I have a lot of respect for all of them, because youtube is a "general website" and with some very good people and some very stupid people that just make bad comments about a very serious problem. Rolling Eyes

So, I searched for a forum where I could share my problems with some people that can really understand. Found this one and here I am. Wink

Katex88x · Posted: Tue Jun 03, 2008 3:10 pm Post subject:

Thanks for sharing your story Darkened and Welcome to SPW! Very Happy

Darkened · Newbie User Joined: Jun 03, 2008 Posts: 29

Thank you! Smile