is this social phobia?

ilovemum · Newbie User Joined: Jun 08, 2008 Posts: 1

hi , i'm not sure whether i've got social phobia or not, but i've definatly got something wrong with me i think.
Since i was about 14 i've always got worried about what to talk about with certain people.They were friends in a way but i wouldn't really
'know'them, not like real friends which can just talk and talk.i would 'forget' my books at school so that i wouldn't have to walk to lessons with them,
but if there was three of us it was fine though. but then i had about 2 proper friends who i wouldn't be embarrassed about being with.
I'm 21 now and still worry just as much about what to talk about with some people, i think that i am the one who is boring when both of us are silent,
which i know is rediculous.

last summer i stupidly took a lot of pills (mdma) , and somthing changed inside me .
i fogot where to look when talking to someone!, their nose eyes mouth? something
that , before taking the drugs was completly pre programmed into brain, to look at their eyes obviously!
I also started sweating a bit when having a one
on one conversation with someone who i am not at ease with(a lot of people,friends of parent's, even my aunt!)
i start panicking, don't know where to look
in their face and not really consentrating on what they are saying. so i find myself relying on drinking before the social event,
so that i can talk to people.
All i think about when talking to poeple is 'Where do i look when talking to them? Also, where do i put my hands!'
but i don't get this with everyone though.
I feel i can never properly 'relax' in a social situation unless i'm drunk, but the thing is i don't get shakes or anyhting like that, i just sweat
a bit and panic.As i said with friends that i know i can be so relaxed,
but then there are some social things that i absolutly dread and have to get drunk at to relax

Is this social phobia? can anyone tell me?
Thanks
i'm a bloke by the way

Helyna · Posted: Sun Jun 08, 2008 1:09 am Post subject:

It sounds like you always had social anxiety. The pills made it much worse, obviously. Therapy of some kind could help you work things out, so you should really look into that. If you have to rely on getting drunk, you need to do something.