Joined: Jun 08, 2008 Posts: 11 Location: Catalonia, Europe
Posted: Sun Jun 08, 2008 4:21 pm Post subject: Hi, another newbie here!
Hi everyone. This is likely to be another introduction (so run away! lol), but I'm new to the community so I guess I must start for the beginning. Just before start, I'm afraid I do not handle the English language enough to write in a proper way, so please forgive my mistakes.
So this is me, let's say Vitalis, male, 21 years old, living in Catalonia, Spain, and I have Social Phobia. I've been following this forum for a while and reading some of the other member's experiences, and I must say that helps to see some people that have the same problems than you. I suppose being socially isolated makes even more difficult to find people with the same problems, so I was happy to find this site.
My problem with social phobia (or social anxiety as I've read in other places) comes basically from my childhood, when I had asthma. The problem was not the illness itself, because I got rid of it in 4-5 years thanks to the treatment. The problem was that this illness kicked my health, and made me really prone to catch colds and flus, so my mom overprotected me for this. My life was simple: home-school-home-school... I was just allowed to get out with some hood mates when I was 14, and just the couple of summer months.
This circumstance made me change. I was a nice child, really funny and happy, but this obviously changed my behavior and character. I was not allowed to play football with the local team, I was not allowed to do the homework in the library with my mates, I was not allowed to go to the parties, I was not allowed to... plus, people in the village started treating me and my family like if we were from some kind of sect, because neither me and my parents are very prone to social activities... and it contribute to my shyness.
At 16 yo I had the opportunity to leave the village and go to the city with my grandma. I suppose I saw that like the panacea, but of course I was too optimist to think that I could overcome this without many efforts. And I'm here since there, but obviously the problem still exists. I've been finishing my studies 4 years, worked in a couple of places but the situation is the same. I've met new people there and as I've always been I'm kind to everyone, maybe too much, but there's some kind of wall that makes impossible to go on with relationships, going to places, etc... you all know what I mean.
And I'm still here. Now I've ended the studies and started to work. I have no friends to hang out and stuff, and basically my life is bed-work-pc-bed, except the weekends that is bed-pc-bed, with some basic biological functions between. I've passed various phases of this, and there are better days and seasons, but specially this year I feel pretty bad due to some other factors of my family that have nothing to do with that (health problems).
Anyway, although I'm a total pessimist and self-destructive, I have some strange positive feeling sometimes, and I want to think that everything has two faces. SP is obviously terrible, but at least I think it has also developed my personality in a different way than the usual. I don't smoke, don't take drugs, don't drink, and instead of getting out, have fun and learning about how life goes out there, I was stuck at home reading books, encyclopedias, getting curious by everything happening, learning languages (4 for now) and always trying to learn more things and try to feel that my time is not a full waste. This is the way that I show myself I'm not a useless bunch of cells that one day will disappear.
Well, I guess this was too long. Thanks for reading.
I think you are using your time productively and you sound like a very interesting person. But at the same time, I think it is important to be sociable as we are social beings after all.
Why don't you try some dating/friend websites - if they have them on your side of the world. Use your brain power and find a hobby that you can share with other people.
Joined: Jun 08, 2008 Posts: 11 Location: Catalonia, Europe
Posted: Mon Jun 09, 2008 9:28 am Post subject:
villacjs wrote:
Welcome Vitalis to social phobia world!
Your english is great
Thanks very much, it really helps.
Len wrote:
Why don't you try some dating/friend websites - if they have them on your side of the world.
Ehm... I'm from Europe, of course we have them...
Seriously, I'm really skeptical in those dating and friendship sites. Plus, I hate chatting IRC, MSN... so the chances to find people online are really low. Anyway, a year and half ago I found some penpals to practice various languages, and they were great, but it's hard to keep a relation at distance and sooner or later it simply ends.
And dating sites... if I'm skeptical in friendship, just imagine in love... I've never had a girlfriend nor something similar, and I'm not really encouraged since every time that I'm in love I have a really bad time because I know it's impossible to be loved in return.
The past summer was terrible, because I found a girl that seemed to be somewhat interested on me, and then I started changing my behavior since the point that I think during a month I lost the Social Phobia and I changed completely. I was optimist, got out without thinking on what the other would think on me, bough a cell phone, lost most of the fears that I had with other people... I was "on fire" or something similar. Now I can't even remind some moments or my thoughts then, it was like another person. But in the end our relationship couldn't go further, and I not just went back to the point I was, but even worse. I was without job, and with a depression state that I never felt before. And after three horrible months of extreme isolation and depression I decided not to worry more about love.
Oh, how many "I" in the last paragraph, that must not be good. But thanks for trying.
Joined: Jun 08, 2008 Posts: 11 Location: Catalonia, Europe
Posted: Mon Jun 09, 2008 1:51 pm Post subject:
villacjs wrote:
Vitalis
What are you doing to overcome your SA/SP? Surely you can do something with your english skills - tourism etc.
You a Barca fan by any chance?
To overcome SA? Basically, nothing but complaining and joining this forum. I haven't found (actually, searched) any therapy group in my city, and I don't take pills either. The first thing is because I don't feel good and secure enough to try to find a place for this, and the second is because I still want to be healthy and I don't like to take medicines if it's not strictly necessary. And now let's go for more serious things...
Yes, I'm a Barça fan. (and actually an Espanyol one as well, I'm kinda weird lol) There's an important community of Barça fans or Catalan people in Australia?
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But thanks for trying. 
There's an important community of Barça fans or Catalan people in Australia? 
