Posted: Tue Jun 10, 2008 12:05 pm Post subject: Motivation
Hello people.
The most common advice you get for overcoming shyness is by starting slow and gradually become more and more confident in social situations. However, this doesn't work for me, as I always slip back into my old state. Even if I manage to get quite far, there's nothing to keep me there. Also, it's mostly aimed at people who don't "know" many people and is also a way for them to expand their social circles. So it's not suitable for me, as I know who I'd like to be friends (or more ) with.
So I decided (because I have a lot of self-esteem and know that fear of embarrassment is irrational, and doesn't really concern me much anyway, as it's short-term) to try to use a more direct approach and all of a sudden just become loud and social. I have normal social skills, I think, so half the work is done there.
But I still need something to push me and motivate me to do this. Like a little voice in my head that verbally harrasses me until I do it. Or, someone like one of my friends, who has the habit of slamming me into people or screaming out people's names to make me feel uncomfortable (he's not a good idea, though, as the way he does it doesn't help much). Can you think of anyting that would keep me going and keep me doing this?
Keep in mind here that I don't have social phobia and just shyness, so you're not gonna trumatize me or anything if I accidentally do something embarrassing (which I will, and don't particularly care about).
Thanks in advance. You'll completely cure someone of this terrible affliction if you manage to think of something that would help me!!!
So, get writing! Thanks again, I'll be infinitely grateful for any helpful advice.
Do you have good self-control? This sometimes works for me. If I cheat, at least I feel guilty about it.
Say to yourself: "I will not _______ until I ________!" Fill in the first blank with something you really like to do and the second with what you think you should do. And hammer yourself on it. If you cheat, remind yourself that you haven't kept your promise!
Hope that's a good idea.
Yeah, that's good, but I don't really have any self-control at all... sorry, only boring people do.
Besides, I'm talking mainly about things to tell myself on the spot when I'm about to approach someone or someting like that. Something to inject a sudden rush of recklessness and frenzy into me to get me to be loud and all that. Or the day before, or whenever. Discipline si going to have absolutely no effect on me, I have to have something to get me really excited and enthusiastic.
Maybe if you want something bad enough you will do what it takes to try to get it. And conversely maybe you don't want it bad enough. What makes you happy? Is is talking to a lot of people?? Are you naturally just introverted and content doing your own thing alot? If so, there is nothing wrong with that either. We're all different and have different goals and different aptitudes. There are no rights or wrongs. Do what feels right within reason and don't worry about what you should or shouldn't want.
Nope I'm actually on the other end of the introversion-extroversion scale. Highly extroverted. Off the chart. So yeah, what you said does help and is useful sometimes, just the fact that I want it. I think I'll use that a bit more.
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) with.
sorry, only boring people do. 
Or the day before, or whenever. Discipline si going to have absolutely no effect on me, I have to have something to get me really excited and enthusiastic.
I hope more people reply. I want to see what ideas they have!
