Is life worth it?

Roads · Newbie User Joined: Jun 15, 2008 Posts: 14

Hi, I'm a 21 year old male from the US. I've been depressed for basically all my life. I've always been alone, never really had any friends. I was the kid who sat alone at lunch.

Always felt like going to college would be a great experience and I'd meet lots of people and have lots of fun. But so far its been 2 and a half years of social isolation, depression and sadness.

My family hates me, they think I'm gay because I've never had a girlfriend(been rejected dozens of times, ive given up), and every time i see them they just try to get me to 'admit' that I'm gay. Its fucking retarded.

I just recently stopped accutane which ended the acne ive had since 12 years old. My face is pretty nasty, and i'm not afraid to admit that I'm a man that wears makeup. I have some minor gynecomastia(puffy nipples) which has also destroyed my confidence over the years. I also have palmer hyperhidrosis which doesnt help life at all.

I used to trust in God, used to believe people when they said "life gets better", but its just been a lie. I don't follow religion any more.

One thing that really bothers me is the girlfriend thing. There has never been a girl interested in me. I know a lot of it has to do with my height(im 5'7", which apparently is too short to date in the US).

I do go to therapy, and I've been on anti depressants, but none of it really helps honestly. Sometimes I feel okay, but my quality of life never improves, and the future is always dim. If anything, the years of therapy i've been in have shown me that I really DON'T belong in this world.

I've accepted the fact that I'll never have a girlfriend, and also accepted that my life won't get better. I've attempted suicide before in the past, and plan to do so again with a more permanent method. I'm not really sure why I'm posting here, maybe just searching for a reason to live i guess, maybe just searching for someone to make me believe my life is worth living.

-James

ljwwriter · Intermediate User Joined: Oct 31, 2007 Posts: 186

Of course life is worth it! We may be suffering now, but just think, in a hundred years we'll all be...oh wait. Nevermind.

ripewithdecay · Posted: Sun Jun 15, 2008 7:23 am Post subject:

I know what you're feeling.
What are your hobbies? What is it you're really fond of in this world?
Try to dig deep as far as you can to find the answer, and that is the reason to keep living.
Don't base your feelings off of not being able to get a girlfriend.
They're not easy to get in your current frame of mind, actually it's pretty much impossible. I can't find one either. But you just have to worry about that later when you're feeling better about yourself.

Aramid · Posted: Sun Jun 15, 2008 9:10 am Post subject:

Life doesn't end when your primary goals are not met. You need to be confident and I know you have strengths that can make you happy. You need to find those strengths and use it. It is also good if you accept what you are not. Imperfections are always there within us. I admit that I am not handsome and not happy with my complexion but who cares? I want to be loved for who I am and who I am not. The depression and limitations you have are just tests to improve your endurance to future problems. Life is never easy it takes a lot of things to be a better person.

Love your self and feel good all the time. It is difficult but not all things are easy anymore. Very Happy

Digitaldreams · Newbie User Joined: May 12, 2008 Posts: 22

Hi James,

I'd be glad to try to offer you some help but what I have to say would take too long and is a bit too complex for a forum. If you want to talk to me,feel free to write to me.

uninspired_lady · Posted: Mon Jun 16, 2008 7:11 am Post subject:

Honestly......you just described my life! its freaky!...at least im not the only one and there are more people that feel this way. i can't even give you advice...cuz i can't even help myself Sad

_________________
Just saying 'no' prevents teenage pregnancy the way 'Have a nice day' cures chronic depression.

-Faye Wattleton

cobalt_bluester · Posted: Tue Jun 17, 2008 6:44 am Post subject:

Hi, I really feel for you right now as much of what you have described relates to me. I never had a girlfriend until the age of 30 so please don't give up as you are still very young and much can change for you in the future. Perhaps you need to see you doctor who could prescribe alternative meds. Try and take one day at a time and don't blame yourself for the situation you are in. Life is definitely not easy for some of us, but we must try and find a way through our problems. Try and shake things up a little if you can - it could lead you in a whole new direction. Please don't give up on yourself, you are a valuable human being and nobody else is any better (or worse) than you just remember that.

I would also recommend that you take up running as I have been told that this is extremely good for many people suffering from depression. Running could be something that you could control in your life and give you a sense of purpose, get you fitter and raise your self esteem a little. Good luck and I hope this will be of some use to you. PM me any time you like.

Ken · Newbie User Joined: Apr 01, 2008 Posts: 54

Life is worth it if you give meaning to your life. Find something to accomplish with your life and your life will have meaning. I know that is a lot easier said than done but hey what do you have to lose by trying to accomplish something. Cool

_________________
"When it is obvious the goals cannot be reached, don't adjust the goals, adjust the action steps'" Confucius

Roads · Newbie User Joined: Jun 15, 2008 Posts: 14

Yeah, I actually workout quit a bit Cobalt. I spend probably about 10 hours a week on fitness, and am in pretty good shape, better shape than 90% of men my age.

I do know what my strengths are, I actually play guitar(played for about 8 years) in an original band, and write the music and lyrics( i dont want to do any shameless self promotion ahha, but if you guys want ill link it). But it doesn't really make me happy, and music has never really gotten me anywhere. In fact, being involved in local music has been a really negative and disappointing experience. And no, people who play in bands do NOT get laid more easily.

SocialButterSlip · Intermediate User Joined: May 20, 2008 Posts: 111

same here dude, but you seem to have to have it worst, just hang on? your parents are evil.