Joined: Jun 15, 2008 Posts: 21 Location: on the last bus out of town
Posted: Mon Jun 16, 2008 10:09 am Post subject: I should be thanking my f’ing lucky stars, right?
It blows my mind to think of how, of all the people in the world, in the history of the world, I ended up with as privileged a life as I have.
I grew up in America. While not the best country to live in by far (in my opinion,) it is nonetheless a nation in which human rights, free speech, equality between the sexes, and fair trials are generally protected by law. I don’t live in fear of starvation or fascist government brutality or land mines.
I have a family that loves and supports me and wishes me to be happy. My parents are happily married and have always had stable employment, and financially we have always been very comfortable. They have given me every opportunity to succeed.
They’re paying for me to go to college. College. A hundred years ago women couldn’t even vote, and now I’m privilege to the kind of higher education that most people in the world today could only dream of.
And I’m not happy. I’ve never felt like life was a gift…it’s always been an unpleasant task, something I put up with to keep my family happy and wait for some kind of relief from my sadness that will probably never come. Life has always been more painful than anything, and to be quite honest, I’d rather not bother.
It makes me guilty to feel this way when I have so much to be thankful for…it makes me feel so ungrateful, a pointless waste. There’s a global food crisis, yet I can eat as much as I want. There’s an oil shortage, but I can still afford to drive.
There’s so many better people in the world that deserve the opportunities I have so much more than I do…I wish they could have them instead.
Hey, I'm in the exact same position as you. Upper-middle class family that pays for anything I need, and pays for college. I have a lot of gifts, but i'm still unhappy all the time.
Last edited by Roads on Tue Jul 01, 2008 6:08 pm; edited 1 time in total
Joined: Oct 08, 2005 Posts: 104 Location: Lincolnshire, UK
Posted: Tue Jun 17, 2008 6:39 am Post subject:
Hi. An important thing is that we must remember that even with posessions, and a supportive family this is not enough to tackle the deep underlying issues that are the cause of our depressions. Try not to blame yourself - this is the worst thing anyone can do who has depression. It is not your fault. I wish you luck.
Joined: May 21, 2008 Posts: 42 Location: Reading, UK
Posted: Tue Jun 17, 2008 6:54 am Post subject:
I don't think you should feel guilty for not being happier......life is difficult.....for everybody.....it's supposed to be hard, whoever or wherever you are....it's one of those four noble truths in buddhism....if you expect life to be easy, you'll feel dissapointed....but if you accept that life is difficult then you can embrace these challenges and learn and grow from them.
and the fact that you've realised how lucky we are in the west is a really admirable thing.....many are totally ignorant.
But you've still got problems, like the rest of us.....you're allowed to have problems and they're expected to cause you unhappiness....it's fine....you've just gotta keep cracking on down your own path and staying positive.
I understand what you are saying. Other people just seem to be happy, whereas, people like us just struggle to find enjoyment in anything. I think that in western societies, such as America, there is a focus on individualism and being a happy person. Buy this car and you will be happy, lose weight and you will be happy etc. But I think it is all a myth to pacify the masses.
From the sounds of it, you have a noble awareness of how "lucky" you are that you do not suffer like people in third world countries. Perhaps you should focus your life on helping people who suffer and then you might feel good about yourself.
Write down your goals and every time you succeed tick them off. Rather than being happy, be content with what you have. It sounds like material possessions aren't your priority? You may be happier leading a more simple and humble existence.
man i totally feel the same way. I was speaking with a friend in brazil about depression the other day. He just had to sell his car to keep his family's finances solvent. And he was trying to cheer me up. I was so grateful for his help, but at the same time, thats just so ironic.
Joined: May 29, 2008 Posts: 64 Location: Illinois, USA
Posted: Wed Jun 18, 2008 6:12 pm Post subject:
I feel the same exact way. Im a lucky bastard, I can't believe what I have and get away with, like living in my parents house basically rent free and never really having to worry about anything normal adults have to. Yet I constantly worry and am unhappy, life has always been this big excruciating ordeal for me. I hate to think what I'd do if I actually had real problems....I don't wanna think about it.
I've always felt I'd get over this if I had someone to be with, a girlfriend, a partner whatever you wanna call it, cause I'm pretty much useless alone. But that ain't happened yet...
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