Posted: Sat Jun 28, 2008 11:24 pm Post subject: I feel I have nothing to offer women
The main reason for me being single (love-shy) is that I feel I have absolutely nothing to offer people. I feel like I don't deserve a relationship, since I'm socially inept. Why on earth would any woman want to marry someone like me? And this also applies to having friends; why would anyone want to be friends with me? Do you feel the same?
Tell me about it. Quite a few girls have said to me: "Why are you still single? You've got so much to offer a woman." I tend not to believe them despite knowing that I'm tall, in good shape, top grades at school and uni, have my own apartment...
People like us need to get it into our thick skulls that there are bigger losers than us with great girlfriends.
I'm gradually trying to change my mindset to believe I have something to offer. The trouble is I tend to lose faith when I hear women talking about their ideal man. "He must make me laugh", "He must be outgoing and confident". Basically I'm neither of those so why would a woman want to go out with me?!
Also, have you ever read ay advrtisments on sites like match.com and yahoo dating? I totally don't fit any of the 'looking for' descriptions! It just makes me feel even more inept..
My biggest problem is that I don't meet any single women. Even when I do it takes me too long to get comfortable in their presence and there never seems to be any chemistry.
There is a difference between you and people like me. Unlike you, I'm a real loser. I couldn't finish my education (I was studying to become a teacher), and haven't worked since 2001 due to depression and social phobia...
So, in my case, I really have nothing to offer women. Of course, I'm going to do something about this, but I will be over 35 when/if I reach my goals...
Last edited by Argamemnon on Sun Jun 29, 2008 1:13 am; edited 1 time in total
Most women don't really care whether their man has all the qualities that an "ideal" man is supposed to have. Maybe in high school the girls are more picky, but once they get into their 20's, they grow up. They might still say that the "ideal" man should be tall and strong and make them laugh or whatever... but reality is, in most cases those things won't make or break a relationship. What a woman wants is somebody who listens to her, cares about her, goes out of his way to make her feel special. It's all about how the girl feels about HERSELF when she's around you.
Also, like I mentioned earlier, I can't make friends and I'm socially inept. What would women think of me when they discover that I have practically zero friends and no social life? Please, let's not pretend that there is nothing wrong with people like us. Everything is wrong with us.
You aren't the only one with a social phobia! The world is full of social phobics and many of them are women. Don't assume that nobody will ever be able to understand your situation and love you anyway.
But what are the chances that 2 social phobia persons meet, getting feelings for each other, and dare to show them?
_________________ Stop making kids.
Compulsory sterilization is good.
More security. Less freedom.
The word "cowardly" is often used as another word for effectivly.
Joined: Jun 15, 2008 Posts: 21 Location: on the last bus out of town
Posted: Sun Jun 29, 2008 6:17 am Post subject:
Pfft. What do you mean by what you have to "offer" someone? Do you mean you wouldn't have lots of money to spend on them, a car, a thriving social life? Because believe me, if a girl would pass you up because you don't have these things then she's not worth your time anyway. And if you did have them, she wouldn't be satisfied with them for very long anyway.
Girls--the worthwhile kind, anyway--are simpler than you think, and a relationship with one doesn't require such superficial things you can "offer" her. As long as you're not completely selfish/arrogant/needy/negative, a nice girl will be happy with a guy who provides a caring ear to listen and soft arms to snuggle with.
My boyfriend is perpetually broke, no car, works at a pizza place, no education past high school, and has dubious hygiene But god knows I love the crap out of that boy...
Well in my case,I am not that good looking,but somehow I had a lot of chances with girls so I dont think looks matter that much,but I feel if they discover the real me they wont like me,I also go blank when I am around them.......
_________________ I push my fingers into my eyes
It's the only thing that slowly stops the ache
If the pains goes on
I'm not gonna make it!
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But god knows I love the crap out of that boy...
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