Posted: Thu Jul 03, 2008 2:20 am Post subject: Finding old classmates on facebook or myspace.. how depressi
depressing. So, I was browsing Facebook and I found out my two close friends from high school/college are now married. It doesn't surprise me since they were very outgoing and pretty mature when it came to relationships. It just kills me to see it in writing. I lost touch with them 4 years ago when my anxiety made me a nervous wreck around everyone and I couldn't even feel calm hanging around them. Basically it's just another reminder of how much time I've thrown down the drain because of this crap.
If I could I would probably move to a different state just to get a fresh start and get away from the bad memories and good ones that I wish I had back. Of course I can't though, because I'm currently unemployed and will probably have a crappy retail job soon.
Do you guys ever bump into former friends or classmates and feel depressed and way behind in life? At this point I can't even relate with most people my age. I feel totally lost and scared about my future. It makes me sick to think about what has happened in the last 5 years.
Posted: Thu Jul 03, 2008 2:46 am Post subject: Re: Finding old classmates on facebook or myspace.. how depr
froghat wrote:
Do you guys ever bump into former friends or classmates and feel depressed and way behind in life? At this point I can't even relate with most people my age. I feel totally lost and scared about my future. It makes me sick to think about what has happened in the last 5 years.
Facebook seems like a constant updating stream of how much fun the world is having without me.
Random thought though, if they were your close friends during highschool and college, that doesn't mean they're former friends. It just means you've been out of touch a while. I suggest sending them a message through facebook along the lines of "woh! you're married! its been a long time, congratulations!" And see how you feel afterwards. For me, being happy for someone somehow dampens the depression. In this situation with the added bonus of perhaps getting back in touch.
Yeah, I guess I could do that. It's just I kind of ditched them and it probably wouldn't be the same. Plus, I really have no urge to hangout with married people. I have enough anxiety to deal with, without adding the 3rd wheel thing into the mix.
Joined: Jun 02, 2008 Posts: 10 Location: California
Posted: Thu Jul 03, 2008 6:57 am Post subject:
A lot of people I went to high school with are married or have kids. That doesn't mean they're happy or living a great life.
I don't know how old you are or when graduated from high school but look on the bright side... you're free to do anything you want, you don't have to explain anything to anyone, you don't have to deal with bratty little kids, whatever money you make you can spend on yourself and not stuck on a joint account or have mortgage payment. I could go on.
You say you are going to be stuck on a retail job? Well, if you're not happy, go back to school and do something else. It's not like you have to work to support a wife and kids and can't go to school. You want to leave the state?? leave the state! I'm planning on doing that next year. You have so many more possiblities of making your life anyway you want to. Married people and people with kids as basically stuck and are probably jealous of your freedom!!! so CHEER UP!!!
_________________ Just saying 'no' prevents teenage pregnancy the way 'Have a nice day' cures chronic depression.
Yeah, I guess I could do that. It's just I kind of ditched them and it probably wouldn't be the same. Plus, I really have no urge to hangout with married people. I have enough anxiety to deal with, without adding the 3rd wheel thing into the mix.
Not the same is different from not as good. Pretty soon all your friends will be married. Why should that stop you from hanging out with them. And why should that stop you from having as much fun when you are hanging out with them. If that was the reasoning, all adults would be loners. And married people don't spend 24 hours a day 7 days a week together. If that was the case, i assure you they'd all be divorced. Everyone needs time with friends.
In any case, there more than enough time to worry about that after you message these people. Because honestly, what is there to lose? Worst case is they don't reply, then you'll be exactly where you are now, minus the phantom third wheel worries.
It's also great to see how your friends has hundreds of friends there.
_________________ Stop making kids.
Compulsory sterilization is good.
More security. Less freedom.
The word "cowardly" is often used as another word for effectivly.
I used to get on myspace. I haven't been on in a while, and I plan on keeping it that way. The people with hundreds of friends (lol seriously?), the "new pic leave comments plz" bulletins every day... I won't be missing it too much. I'll check facebook once and a while, not that it's much better.
Posted: Thu Jul 03, 2008 8:40 pm Post subject: Re: Finding old classmates on facebook or myspace.. how depr
froghat wrote:
Do you guys ever bump into former friends or classmates and feel depressed and way behind in life? At this point I can't even relate with most people my age. I feel totally lost and scared about my future. It makes me sick to think about what has happened in the last 5 years.
Not often because I pretty much left my home town in 1997 when I went to university. However, it's quite a small town (population about 5,000) so when ever I go back to visit my parents there's a chance I may see someone in the street I went to school with.
Some people I know have never left my home town and took retail jobs, got married and had kids. In some respects I'm glad I got out and went to uni and experienced different places, despite the whole agony of being shy.
I'm scared of the future too. I would like to get married and have kids but the clock is running out (I'm 29.5 yrs old).
I've just been onto Facebook and visited my work collegue's home page. I saw pictures of her and her boyfriend at a flat warming party. It's really quite depressing! I really shouldn't go on there and look at that stuff but you're always curious to see what type of guy she goes for. Certainly in terms of looks he's not dissimilar to me. I'm probably a lot taller though!! So at least there's one department I'm not inferior!
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