Why Low self esteem?

friend807 · Newbie User Joined: Nov 09, 2007 Posts: 23

feeling low self esteem is essential symptom of social phobia.
i have been thinking of this symptom.why it is exisit?
mm i think its kind of self defence of prospecting hurts or annoyances of others
We are afraid of drawing nice image upon ourselves coz it might be broken or desgraced from other

so we go to draw a bad image instead

Anyone agree?

Lea · Intermediate User Joined: Mar 08, 2008 Posts: 218

Not true in my case.

NothingElseMatters · Posted: Mon Jul 07, 2008 9:46 pm Post subject:

sometimes i don't do my best cause i don't want to be the center of attention,
although i know i can do much better and then i end up screwing it all up.then i say to myself that i wasnt good enough.Andddd theres the low self esteem. if this is what u mean friend807

faithnomore · Intermediate User Joined: Jun 20, 2008 Posts: 119

Low self esteem is caused by not having a woman. Crying or Very sad

AM · Posted: Wed Jul 23, 2008 1:55 pm Post subject:

I spoke with my doctor about my low self esteem and a lot of low self esteem is triggered by a lack of unconditional love as a child.

gascar · Newbie User Joined: Jul 08, 2008 Posts: 17

low self esteem is the core of social anxiety.
if you eliminate low self esteem you automatically cured your social anxiety.
low self esteem does not automatically say you have social anxiety, but people with social anxiety HAVE low self esteem.

friend807, for you question why this exists?
it actually doesn't, people don't born with low self esteem, but as a child you just learn from and shape by the adults that around you (especially parents), and when parents give you bad feedback or they themselves have low self esteem, so your mind learn this behavior and thats the reason why people have low self esteem.

AM is quite right, low self esteem cause mainly from the feedback you get from society and especially your parents when you are a little child.
when parents tell you to act like that and do that and you should be ashamed of yourself for doing that, it causes you to question yourself "wait, i dont know what im doing, i dont know if im right about my actions, i need guidance". it causes you the need the approval of other people for your actions instead of giving a fuck and do what you think is right.
you have automatic taught in your mind about everything you do, you question yourself and relay on others.
you think to yourself "should i say this or that, will it be ok? how people will react to this?", you are completely not sure about yourself.

the truth is and its important to understand it, that mostly there is no right or wrong what you do is ok, everybody need to have these sets of beliefs, everyone needs to rely on themselves.

this sets of beliefs causes us to be always ok and nutrual, and try to make everyone to like us, its important to understand that its wrong and you CANT be liked be everyone and you dont need to.

want to here something mind blowing?

THE PEOPLE WHO DON'T GIVE A FUCK ABOUT WHAT OTHER PEOPLE THINK OF THEM, AND NOT TRYING TO GET THE APPROVAL OF OTHERS, AND ACTS BY THEIR OWN PRINCIPALS AND BELIEFS THEY ARE THE ONE THAT ARE THE MOST POPULAR AND LOVED.

i have a friend who has very high self esteem, the guy can argue with you about a topic he never heard of, and you will just believe his right, because he is so sure about himself, i admire this quality in him.

i am trying to focus on this issue and set my mind to new beliefs and thoughts. i am trying to get rid of this automatic thoughts that make me care about what other thinks of me, with time its possible.
i really recommend on the book "Your Erroneous Zone" by DR wayne W. Dyer. this book really opened my eyes. this is a self help book that talks about wrong thoughts and how to eliminate them.

i wish you all good Cool

Victor · Newbie User Joined: Jul 08, 2008 Posts: 31

boredguy · Posted: Wed Jul 23, 2008 5:58 pm Post subject:

I couldn't agree with you more gascar. What sucks is that the lower a person's self esteem is, the less they feel like taking the risks of hanging out with people and being rejected. Of course without interaction life begins to suck and the future appears "very doom and gloom", only lowering one's self esteem. It's an awful cycle that is damn hard to break. I know that i NEED to go and interact with people, but i cant force myself to. Sad

Argamemnon · Expert User Joined: Jan 15, 2008 Posts: 611

Argamemnon · Expert User Joined: Jan 15, 2008 Posts: 611