can't study because of OCD

rodya · Newbie User Joined: Jul 16, 2008 Posts: 3

Hello everyone, I'm new to this forum(glad i found it). I've been diagnosed clinically with Bipolar Disorder. I was on lithium for 8 months for that. However I never really felt 'bipolar' alot had to do with my drug abuse(opiate addict). Well i got off the drugs, in the sense i don't get withdrawal anymore even though i indulge in them more than twice a week. Anyway, i always felt my problem was ADD, i've been recently put on Atomoxetine (my 4th week now). So why is this post in the OCD forum? I've never been diagnosed with OCD, however i've started noticing alot of OCD like behavior. I noticed some thing earlier but they weren't that sever. The hand washing and my germ phobia was just a phase. I got over it. But what really bugs me out is when i write stuff. Like for school assignments. I have this constant anxiety that it isn't neat, aesthetically good...i know it's silly but anyway. It's really been hampering my studies. I failed a year back, and now i'm finnaly in my final year in school. I've always been an above average student.. till my drug abuse started. After that i really didn't care. But now I want to do well..i'm planning to study law. But this thing's been really getting in the way. So well I decided I wouldn't really write alot.. I just read. And I actually learn faster that way. But anyway, theres alot of stuff.. like when i mark stuff with a highlighter in my book.. later i get all worried about how it's not in a straight line and things like that. I've been trying to control myself by not giving into it. I just move away.. take a few deep breaths.. listen to some meditation tapes.. whatever it takes.. and i keep glancing at that page.. to sort of ease myself into it. It helps a little but i have a long way to go. I wan't to get off the atomoxetine because i feel attention is not my biggest issue... i can control that with a bit of yoga and meditation. I don't want my personality to change.. anyway.. i don't think my OCD is that extreme.. i don't want any medication for it.. i don't even know if it's technically OCD but you know what I mean. It's hard. Everyday is a struggle. I just wanted to share this with people who have similar problems. If theres something that helped you, do post. Thanks.

Candlejack · Newbie User Joined: Aug 22, 2008 Posts: 6

My GPA dropped from a 3.3 to a 2.6 this semester. Does your school have a centre for disabled students? I joined mine and they help me a lot with tutors, extra time for assignments and sometimes they can convince the professor to weigh a written assignment higher than a memory type assignment, like a test or an exam.

Check it out and see.

ZimboJambo · Newbie User Joined: Sep 25, 2008 Posts: 1

I've had OCD since senior year of high school. I've always managed to do decent in my studies but it becomes very difficult to focus when OCD is more apparent. This was very evident when i started University and school and my life in general became more stressful.
It came to a point that i didnt have much time for anything else excpet my studies, simply because it took me so long to get through the readings.
Then when i had a girl friend, which added even more stress and anxiety, i had to drop a course in fear that i would do too poorly in it.
And the worst part in all this is... i know that my OCD is irrational, the actions and thoughts that plague my mind are simply ridiculous and yet, somehow, in moments of weakness i succumb to thoughts that are not my own. I am a slave to these thoughts.