A battle with the Mind

Lone wolf · Guest

Hello, I am a 17 year old male and have just found the name of my illness.
its caused me alot of trouble through out my life, I used to get myself kicked of of school on purpose just so I wouldn't have to go, I used to try to hide from everyone cause I didn't want to be bothered or seen, I dropped out and am now living a life of solitude. My mom and dad complain about me doing nothing with my life and say I should have a drivers license and job by now, sometimes I wake up and tell myself I'm gonna go walk around, and I'm goning to go jog around the football feild or something just to get out of the house but I always end up doing nothing I've been drinkin to try to cope with the lonelyness I feel from not havin a girlfriend or friends at that, I say to myself my 40 is my only friend but I'd rather have real friends. I find it easyer to jus not think at all and force myself to do sumthing instead of sitting there thinking about whats gonna happen I'm jus going do it I'm not gonna let this thing control me anymore If I can't beat it on my own I will seek help. I've read almost everything on this site and to tell the truth it kinda scares me, but I know what I have to do and thats fight, I walked outside to see if my cat was around and I keep my head up high Smile

thats a start I guess, next is mow the lawn Razz

I'm going to get out and confront this enemy as much as I can I jus hope it will die...

wacomtablet · Posted: Thu Sep 25, 2003 11:58 pm Post subject:

hello Lone Wolf

i wanted to say that your post was read. for a regular person, to be apparently ignored in an online forum like this, it must be a bit disappointing. for the socially anxious person, it is crushing and you go through self-condemnation for even posting in the first place. it hurts and you feel exposed and foolish. remember though that this is a forum for socially anxious people, and to post publicly like this and to put yourself at risk like this often greatly outweighs the impetus to post or the impetus to offer empathy to others in similar pain.
one thing that strikes me about your post is that it carries with it a great deal of hope. you seem intent on overcoming social anxiety and embracing a rich life, not just an existence. when hope's alive like that, it makes a huge difference.
you have courage on many levels - to post and also to put yourself in extremely anxious situations despite your own fears.
you described some of the types of avoidance strategies that all of us as socially phobic people would be only too familar with. sometimes it's terribly surprising to realise that people experience the same things that we do. our own minds often tell us we are completely alone and separate from the rest of humanity, that nobody could possibly be anything like us.
you know 'should' is one of those words in the English language that seek to condition people into believing they are freaks. your Mom and Dad fail to recognise that what people 'should' do is what's right for them as individuals. 'should' teaches us to regard ourselves as failures when our 'actuals' don't match the preconceived idea of 'should'. when people don't understand, they often react by placing what works for them in the given scenario. what worked for your Mom and Dad doesn't have to apply to you. maybe they think being tough will 'snap you out of it'. i guess they are just trying to help based on their own limited understanding.
a lot of the research about social anxiety suggests that there is a greater likelihood that the condition can be managed by earlier intervention. you also have to really 'want' to manage it. you seem to. i think that's half the battle won. are you reading any of the books published on the subject? or seeing a psychologist/psychiatrist?
keep up the hope and the big efforts, Lone Wolf.

take care.

fobicasocial · Posted: Fri Sep 26, 2003 3:32 am Post subject:

Hi friend!
I just would like to tell to that you are not alone on this problem. This is a group to talk about our situation, but you know, it helps, but it´s vitual. Personally I would advise this to you: seek professional help, you are very young, and I´m sure you´re gonna get over it, but it is important to look for a guide, ok?
Receive a hug from a ciber friend. Bye!!!