being replaced by a better guy

footballfan · Newbie User Joined: Dec 10, 2006 Posts: 60

my girlfriend dumped me about 5 months ago, after a 6 years relationship. And it took me a few months to get over it, and accept that she is gonna be with someone else, even though I thought we would be together forever.
But I was chatting to her on msn and we was getting on like the old days, chatting for hours about everything, which is something I can't do with any other girl.
but she told me today, that a bloke at work is trying to set her up with his friend, and that hurt a bit. But when I asked her what he looked like, he was taller (I'm 5 foot 3), buffer, better looking than me, from what she described, and it HURT like HELL.
I know I aint ugly, and could find a girl, but it's my social anxiety that stops me finding another girl, and if I could find a girl, it wouldn't hurt as much.
how do I get over this, has anyone else her been through this?
sorry that it's along message.

Richey · Expert User Joined: Sep 28, 2005 Posts: 822

To some degree every single girl or guy in a given relationship will be thinking about that, whether somebody who you think is better then you will come and sweep them off their feet, right?

but even though her new interest may be taller, more muscular he isn't you and 6 years is a long time, i'm sure the memories are pricelss and the only advice i can say is to try and stay friends if you want to if not then try and move on, it must be a tricky situation to be in eh?

TAMPA-BAY · Posted: Sun Aug 10, 2008 6:25 am Post subject: hi

I was just wondering...if he is so much better than you why does she still chat with you for hours. Why not the new replacment. Seems to me like you must be doing something that the new guy isnt.

footballfan · Newbie User Joined: Dec 10, 2006 Posts: 60

cheers for the replies tampa bay and richey.
I'm kind of getting used to the idea that she gonna be with someone else now, it's just gonna hurt for a bit, then I'll move on. I don't wanna be with her again, but just hate the idea of being replaced. She left a comment on her facebook today saying "I got to see my eye candy today, what a stoke of luck". I'll have to get used to things like this now, and pictures of her all loved up with this new dude.
Thats worrying what you said richey, that people in relationships are always worried about someone else better coming along, maybe relationships are a waste of time, and aint worth the stress.
sorry if I keep going on, just need to let out my feelings cheers

siren_0_0 · Newbie User Joined: Jan 11, 2008 Posts: 95

Sebastian · Posted: Tue Aug 26, 2008 3:51 am Post subject:

I somewhat know the feeling.

Generally speaking, if you care for someone, you want this person to have the best, even if that's not with you. That's how I see it.

In the meanwhile, try not to have too much contact with her and continue your own journey.

Brokenx · Newbie User Joined: Aug 24, 2008 Posts: 25

I was with a guy for 4 years, most of the time we got on great, but sometimes he treated me bad.
I always thought we would be together forever and no matter what he did to me i always forgave him.
Then one day he came home and said he was leaving me, i was a compleete mess and took it real bad, i had never expected us to splt, i loved him so much.
Then 2 months later he was living with another woman, i took it real bad and would cry all time time.. it hurt real bad.
I no how you feel but as hard as it is, you have to cut conections with her untill you're over her, believe me i no it sounds bad but from experience if you stay in contact it takes double the time to get over it and makes it 10x worse.
I hope you're okay,

footballfan · Newbie User Joined: Dec 10, 2006 Posts: 60

thanks for the replies. I found she officially has a new boyfriend now, the replacement has been complete. He see's her loads, and he sounds like he is better than me in every way. And even worse I have to see her now, for the first time in a few months, cause I'm staying at a friends house and there is no way I can avoid her. Don't know how I'll react, I can't sleep right now.

never wanna go through this again, doubt I'll have a choice anywayz.
bye!!

Ajuna24 · Newbie User Joined: Nov 19, 2007 Posts: 53

Same thing happened to me about a year ago. I'm a person that gets too attached and dependant.. It took me a long time to get over it.. maybe I'm still not, because it still hurts thinking about it. Anyway it has changed me in many ways. I can't really remember who I used to be before that time..

I'm still alone and I regret that I ever let myself be so vulnerable.
I'll probably end up being alone, though I'm sure I'd be better dead.

I feel your pain. Sad

_________________
To err is human; to forgive is divine..

striker · Newbie User Joined: Jun 20, 2008 Posts: 51

Dude. you need to get over her.

You will go through this shit till you are over her.

If I were you, I would cut off contact with her.

How bad is your SA.

Stop doubting that you are any lesser than the guy she choose.

you thinking should be
" Its her loss, since I am so awesome. She didn't see it so Its her loss"

Remember no negative thinking.

Replace her thoughts with someone or something else.

Here are some pointers to temporarily numb your SA
- Heat on your body kills the nervous energy

so soak in the heat (sunlight, steam room, hot yoga) for > 30/40 mins

and test your SA by talking to some chicks.

but use this only when you need it cuz its not a permanent solution