Posted: Sat Sep 20, 2008 4:59 pm Post subject: feeling disconnected
I'm starting to feel like everyone else experiences stronger emotions than me. I've always felt I wasn't as close to my friends as they were to each other. Or if we all meet the same new person, I can't really seem to "connect" as much.
But on the other hand, they all seem to have people they hate, and most of the time I can't see what's so horrible about these people. There are people who annoy me, or who I try to limit my time with, but I wouldn't say I hate them. And I don't know if anybody actually hates me either, but there's probably a few who think I'm kinda weird.
Basically I feel like I don't make much of an impression on the world, positive or negative. I don't know if I like that.
Joined: Aug 29, 2008 Posts: 59 Location: la la land
Posted: Sat Sep 20, 2008 6:43 pm Post subject: Re: feeling disconnected
ichiban wrote:
I'm starting to feel like everyone else experiences stronger emotions than me. I've always felt I wasn't as close to my friends as they were to each other. Or if we all meet the same new person, I can't really seem to "connect" as much.
But on the other hand, they all seem to have people they hate, and most of the time I can't see what's so horrible about these people. There are people who annoy me, or who I try to limit my time with, but I wouldn't say I hate them. And I don't know if anybody actually hates me either, but there's probably a few who think I'm kinda weird.
Basically I feel like I don't make much of an impression on the world, positive or negative. I don't know if I like that.
I feel just like you...I think it has to do with the SA that we can rarely experience "deep" moments or really good conversations. we're constantly reflecting: "how do I look?" "does he like me?" so that people just think we're "nice" or "ok" or just weird ...
I feel like i dont fit in atall in general society while walking through town and going to college, sometimes when i observe things and people in general it makes me sick, feels like theres no one like me. I try to see my shyness as a good thing in a way, becuase im a nice quiet person, its part of me, but no one else seems to be like that, and girls dont seem to like the the shyness, at least none that ive come across.
the coolest people i know make no impression whatsoever. usually that's just because they're not really concerned with it... while there are tons of other people out to 'flaunt their personality' (aka ego) in an attempt to make people like them more.
to me, you sound like an honest, regular guy. you're not real tangled up in your ego. you might not be the greatest BSer when it comes to making people think you're cool, but that's what makes you genuine. and hey, fake friends suck anyway. you gotta admit that
Posted: Thu Sep 25, 2008 10:24 am Post subject: Re: feeling disconnected
ichiban wrote:
But on the other hand, they all seem to have people they hate, and most of the time I can't see what's so horrible about these people. There are people who annoy me, or who I try to limit my time with, but I wouldn't say I hate them. And I don't know if anybody actually hates me either, but there's probably a few who think I'm kinda weird.
Hey. That's a good thing. You are probably less prone to drama and conflict.
I'm sort of the same. I chalk it down to my personality. Ever heard of phlegmatic/supine? Might be useful/not useful to you.
Posted: Fri Oct 03, 2008 3:55 pm Post subject: Re: feeling disconnected
ichiban wrote:
I'm starting to feel like everyone else experiences stronger emotions than me. I've always felt I wasn't as close to my friends as they were to each other. Or if we all meet the same new person, I can't really seem to "connect" as much.
But on the other hand, they all seem to have people they hate, and most of the time I can't see what's so horrible about these people. There are people who annoy me, or who I try to limit my time with, but I wouldn't say I hate them. And I don't know if anybody actually hates me either, but there's probably a few who think I'm kinda weird.
Basically I feel like I don't make much of an impression on the world, positive or negative. I don't know if I like that.
i feel the same way. i feel like none of my relationships are real or influential. i wish i could just meet a person and just "click" with someone.
it almost makes me feel like im not a real person because i havent experiencd these things. and the irrational side of me starts to believe this and then have less expectations of myself
I think I'm a melancholy/supine and I often feel dissonant from peers too with my self-effacing nature, but real connections aren't formed from being loved for who you're not. I tend to resent the way most people act in public according to social hierachy of ideal traits, how they're more gutsy with bullying in groups etc.
Even though they think I'm weird I've had extraverted peers come up to me and say they admire my aversion to attention, that I'm lucky I'm not compelled to try impress everyone around me all the time, which was surprising because I used to think being shy was socially unacceptable and meant I lacked major interpersonal skills.
I find that this is not so much the case with the one close friend I have. If I'm comfortable then I will freely connect and be myself, and since I don't have acquintences flooding up my calendar, it's nice to be able to devote more time getting to know that one person in depth. Now it will make me smile to know I have no desire to "steal somebody else's limelight."
Anyone is capable of having such a connection if they meet the right person who is patient and understanding, although I did before I developed social phobia... I'm in high school now and at the point where I want to make new friends but feel bathroom cubicled. I doubt whether I will be able to make anymore deep connections with people in future.
My friend is very popular anyway (the downside is she's often involved in friendship drama). I often feel like a priority rather than an option when all I want is to be in a relationship of mutual priority. I fantasize a lot about my shyness potentially intriguing certain peers I'm too chicken to approach...It's worse when this is regarding a crush. I know it's called proactive optimism but the point is social phobia is a tight chain around the chest...sorry I know this long-winded post wasn't helpful, I just really relate to what you wrote.
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is like so frustrating aishripas cz i feel nothing, u know.. disconnected