meeting people...

crashmodem · Posted: Sat Apr 10, 2004 3:53 pm Post subject: meeting people...

I think how people meet women, is by friends who have friends that are single. Which really discourages me, because i don't have friends, and i doubt that i will ever have any friends, so how is one suppose to meet women.

I am just beyond frustrated with this whole situation of getting out and meeting people.. it scares me big time that i don't have any friends, and no social life, and i fear that i never will be happy.

Guest · Posted: Sat Apr 10, 2004 6:54 pm Post subject:

Just having a companion is not the key to happiness, Crash! I've had some TERRIBLE relationships and I'm still back at square one, alone. If I'd have had any idea how much I would have been hurting, feeling rejected, etc., believe you me, I would have STAYED alone rather than to have gone through it. I still hurt and get depressed if I dwell on some of the disasters. Until we can think up a way for you to meet people (besides the phobic groups and things we've already suggested) why not try to focus on the things that COULD take place if you had a companion, like, you take them to a movie and they see a freind and spend the entire movie talking to their friend, they find fault with your clothing, manners, etc., they reject/discard a gift from you and even hurt you by saying something negative about it. You go to visit them at home and find someone else there or they talk on the phone and ignor you. The list goes on and on! I was phyically as well as mentally abused in all of my relationships, Crash. Hang in there Crash.... you could very easily NOT have bad relationships like I did and truely find genuine happiness... but there can be a bad side to companionship you should think about as well.

I'll get back to you with some suggestions of HOW to meet people as soon as some others than the ones prviously mentioned come to mind. Wink

Orlando · Posted: Sun Apr 11, 2004 3:20 am Post subject:

Crashmodem,

Tell you what. This is what I did (I think Johno did the same). I thought about the things that I liked to do and then I tried to find group that were associated with them. When you walk through the door, you'll already have something in common with the other people.
Johno liked karate so he joined a karate dojo. I liked singing and art so I took lessons. I joined a choir and took art lessons. One of my other friends liked the outdoors so she joined a hiking club.
What do you like to do?

_________________
-Orl

neddy · Posted: Mon Apr 12, 2004 5:52 am Post subject:

I agree with what orlando said. The best way to meet people male and female is to join a group somewhere that interests you. At first just get used to being a friend to someone so you get used to being around people again. You never know you may meet a female through a mutual friend but the only way you are going to meet people is to make yourself more available. People don't know you exist unless you make yourself known to them, they wont come knocking on your door and ask you out. I wish it was that simple but its not. The first couple of times you venture out is the hardest and you may feel very nervous, insecure, self conscious and feeling that people are judging you, but the chances are they aren't and the more you make the effort and get out the easier it gets. Give it a try you have got nothing to lose.

If you fall down pick yourself back up and try again. Don't give up. Its just like a baby learning to walk, takes a couple of steps and falls down, it gets back up and keeps trying until evenutally it is walking properly. Life is like that. Take one step forward and then take 2 backwards, it a challenge but worth the effort.

Michelle · Posted: Sat Apr 24, 2004 2:58 pm Post subject:

Crashmodem, why not try joining a club or something?

You can have friends online can't you, not be able to go out with them though, but you can talk to them.

Good luck!

Michelle