This may seem really odd, but im real worried i will end up in a violent relationship, my ex bfs have never been violent, so im not sure why i think this, however, i never get treated well because of my low self esteem and confidence. Am i mad???
Joined: Jul 13, 2005 Posts: 59 Location: United Kingdom
Posted: Wed Jul 20, 2005 10:57 pm Post subject:
If you ever got violent treatment from a bloke you ought to tell someone.
I dunno, you might be thinking about the worst case scenario in your mind based on people treating you badly because of your low confidence. It's not very fair of blokes to treat you badly because of that but that's just how a lot of blokes are.
Joined: May 03, 2005 Posts: 158 Location: United Kingdom
Posted: Wed Jul 20, 2005 11:50 pm Post subject:
I'd be worried for anyone with SP in a violent relationship because we don't seem to have the assertive to stand our ground, more for the ladies though.
You can be easily manipulated with your / our problems
I wouldn't worry about it though as its not happened and if it did theres plenty of protection out there for you
I think it's normal to fear things like that...but I've encountered semi-violent people or people who seem like they could be violent(they haven't actually beat me or anything but I've been scared of them--for good reasons) before.
I wasn't really physically hurt by him, but once I was in a relationship with somebody who threatened me. This was my first boyfriend ever. He seemed so nice when I first met him but then it's like he became a completely different person after a month or 2...a mean, cruel person...after awhile. I hate when people seem to be what they're not. I haven't seen him since he threatened me though. He never wanted to see me again, anyway and made that pretty clear.
And once I was stupid and invited somebody from the internet to my house. I'd never met him before...usually I meet people in a public place first but this time I just asked him to my house first, and I was a little scared of him...he acted...inappropriately...and I kept pushing him away but then he'd just start again. And this was the first time we'd ever met. Even though my mom was home too...she was in a different room, but still. I'm glad she was here at that time(I never told her what happened though). I would have been alot more scared to be alone with him. He kept trying to hold me down and wouldn't let me move away...not a good feeling at all. So I never saw him again. I guess it was my own fault for not meeting him at a public place first.
Joined: Jul 12, 2005 Posts: 1002 Location: United Kingdom
Posted: Thu Jul 21, 2005 12:12 am Post subject:
yea, little miss, its that feeling that ur meet som1 then they'll change into a monster thats scary. That guy u invited over sounds like a loony, glad his behaviour didn't become anymore serious x thats horrible u got threatened too some men suck
Joined: Feb 11, 2005 Posts: 223 Location: United Kingdom
Posted: Thu Jul 21, 2005 12:22 am Post subject:
Yes Bexi...
<-- this guy sucks too
As for the violent losers they can join me in hell. Not that I believe in a hell but whatever..
And guys are becoming more and more abuse victims to ladies. I mean physical stuff. The truth is it's beengoing on for a very long time but guys are only starting to come out more about it.
A guy with SP will often project his problems through violence.
SP + Bad Anger management + alcohol/drug abuse = voilence in almost all cases.
_________________ "Unreality can be as real as reality itself"
yea, little miss, its that feeling that ur meet som1 then they'll change into a monster thats scary. That guy u invited over sounds like a loony, glad his behaviour didn't become anymore serious x thats horrible u got threatened too some men suck
yeah, that happens with me alot when i meet people...though sometimes not to the extreme of threatening me and stuff, but still, alot of people dont turn out to be who i thought they were.
i was glad i wasnt completely alone with that guy though...i got to thinking later that he could have raped me if we'd been the only ones in the house.
Its not your fault at all, though it might be nota good idea to invite a stranger to be with you in a room for the first time in general, but maybe this guys in particular would have acted that same way in any other public place, and you would be even more alone than at your place with you parents, so it could have been worse, i dunno. I can't judge anybody else, you could have told ur mother, she wouldn't judge you at all. in any case its ok your fine now. i'd say maybe be with a friend if possible when meting somebody for the first time as in date, a friendly date. otherwise maybe at your home, but havin dinner with your parents so you get to know him before he's in a room, i dunno. just to remark it's not your fault at all, he didn't act proper indeed.
Yeah, I guess he could have still done the same thing even if we were in a public place, depending on where it was...or if he'd seemed great when I met him in public so then I invited him to my house anyway...
I know my mom wouldn't have judged me, but I just didn't want to tell her... I wanted to tell that guy to leave though, but I was afraid of him so I didn't say anything. I was just so glad when he left. I told him I had to get up early the next morning for work(I lied--I didn't have to work. And I hate lying... But I knew if I didn't make up some excuse he'd probably stay until really, really late and I'd just be nervous all night long.)--so I finally got rid of him around midnight.
I dont have any friends(except my mom) but she actually did go with me to meet one guy I met on the internet...we were just friends, but he turned out to be really nice, too. He came and spent the weekend with me once. I sort of lost contact with him, but lately I talk to his brother(who I haven't ever met) occasionally online, and he seems just as nice.
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This was my first boyfriend ever. He seemed so nice when I first met him but then it's like he became a completely different person after a month or 2...a mean, cruel person...after awhile. I hate when people seem to be what they're not. 
I haven't seen him since he threatened me though. He never wanted to see me again, anyway and made that pretty clear.
