fear of eye contact

tucker 33 · Guest

hi there-thanks to all who responded to a recent post about my fear of female breasts,i must say i benifitted greatly from the tips and advice
my other major fear is eye contact.from .to other sp people,it is significant the number of sp people who have it.my fear is intense and these are the kind of nats i get when talking to people
"i have wierd eyes"
"ii intimidate others with my eyes"
"he is not looking at me because he is afraid of my eyes"
"my eyes are popping out and people will think i am crazy"
ias u can see these thoughts make standard conversation difficult.the pattern with other phobias is similar in that it is irrational fear of a situation..the nats are automatic and start almost immediately.i would be delighted to hear from anyone who can dispel my fears.i need to hear people say how silly this phobia is and how ungrounded in everyday reality my fears are

Trying · Guest

Hey there tucker.

First off, Im not going to tell you how stupid that is. But what I will tell you that, that part of SP was easy for me to get over. My steps were:

Start just making eye contact with people you dont know at all, on the street or at the store, where ever. Just keep in mind that, odds are you wont ever see any of those people again. Just casually walk by then, look in their eyes, even if they dont look at you, if they do, it wouldn't hurt you to smile at them or something. After you do that for a while, slowly start using those methods, around people your with alot, say family and friends. After awhile, your just going to get used to making direct eye contact, and you'll be good to go.

Hope that helps you. Razz

tucker 40 · Guest

u are right to recommend starting by looking at people passing by and building up to family and friends .u conquered ur fear systematically which is the way to go.was it a huge part of ur sp.for me it is but i think if i smiled at someone now ihaving made eye-contact i would think they thought i was wierd .i would also think they were laughing at me.i suppose that is the classic irrational thougt-if i did smile they might smile back and they would help to de-sensitise my fear.i suppose part of the problem for sp sufferers is w dont seek to have our irrational thoughts dis-confirmed.thanks for the tip though-i will attempt it tommorow and tell u how i got on

Trying · Guest

Eye contact was never huge part of my SA. Not saying it wasnt a somewhat large factor. But ever since I was a little kid, people told me I had nice eyes. My older sister, being the show off that she was, always told me to show off my eyes so people can see them(personally I never thought anything about them, it was just put in my head as a little guy). So Ive kind of always made eye contact. The biggest part of my SA, is fear of large public places, and alot of people having their eyes on me. I love attention, just like anyone else would like attention but when things like that happen (ie. Speeches and taking pictures with lots of people staring and you) I just freak out, and my mind goes into major panic mode.

But eye contact is pretty easy part of overcome from my point of view, no talking needed and you dont have too see alot of the people ever again.

Guest · Guest

I think I have a fear of eye contact. Eeryday when I walk down the hall I try not to look anyone in the eyes. I'm afraid they'll wonder "Why is she looking at me? What does this loser want?"
So I try to either look at the ground or zone out completely and not look at anything in particular. I do this in conversations to. Then I worry that people will think I'm cross eyed or something. I understand these feelings aren't rational and I really need advice. I just want to be able to have a normal conversation.

steve111 · Posted: Thu Oct 07, 2004 5:15 pm Post subject:

Don't look at their eyes. Look at the part of their face in the middle of the eyebrows. People can't tell the difference.

mystery · Posted: Fri Oct 08, 2004 8:05 am Post subject:

Horatio · Posted: Fri Oct 08, 2004 1:02 pm Post subject:

Hi there,

This is certainly a topic I can relate to. I cant make eye contact with people either, always looking down at the ground or to the side of people with the occasional glance at their face.

I guess I feel that if I look at people in the eyes they will think Im weird or a loser and in the case of females I think by looking in their eyes they will think that Im some creep or something.

My solution was to not get my hair cut for a year (which is also a perfect solution for my fear of hairdressers) and now my fringe is so long that it is impossible for people to look in my eyes and visa versa.

Yes I know thats a stupid solution but hey, its the best solution Ive got at the moment. When my overall situation improves then I will address specifics such as eye-contact.

I guess Im rather pathetic, not even being able to look into peoples eyes

LilMissTragic · Expert User Joined: Sep 05, 2004 Posts: 803

The eyes are the windows to the soul, isn't that what they say....
I dont do eye contact very well but when i do I realise the person I look at isn't taking that much notice anyway. I dont like it when people stare into my eyes for that little bit too long as it feels as if they can read my every thought. I know this is silly but its just pretty uncomfortable. I do try to look at people face on though, I usually look at thier mouth or between thier eyes.

Catch Twenty Two Words · Guest

Tucker, I assume that that post was facetious. If not, then allow me to bestow upon you the title of "Biggest Jackass That Side of the Mississippi."

But seriously though, let's get to work. So you're afraid of eye contact? Well, you should be. You probably have flies in your eyes. Don't know what that is? Well, it all boils down to this: your eyes are ridiculous orbs. For the love of God, don't force those things on anyone else.

Oh and stop that fucking fear of eye contact. Jesus tap dancing Christ.

Sincerely,

Two Words