Posted: Fri Dec 23, 2005 7:49 pm Post subject: Am I shy or is it social phobia?
Hey, I just wanted to know if what Im feeling is social phobia or shyness. Im in grade 11 at high school, now, I do have a fair bit of friends (although a lot of them I've previously known at different schools, I haven't made a lot of NEW friends in high school).
Ok, so here's where a bit of confusion on the 2 come in: Each time I get called in class to say something or present, or whenever Im under pressure to say something, I usually: have troubles speaking, sometimes I even stutter a bit, I start sweating a lot, and my heart starts beating very rapidly, I feel like you do when adrenaline starts kicking in. BUT, I DONT have troubles talking to people who I dont see every day (like people who go to my school, I see every day) such as people who work at stores, library assistants, help desks at malls etc. I think it's mainly because when Im around these people, I usually have something SET to say (where can I find this item?, do you have this book?, where can I find this store? etc).
But whenever it's just something like small talk I can't really relate well to other people and it's very hard to speak my mind.
And also, often if I know that I'll have to speak a lot in class (say, do a presentation ALONE - I feel better presenting with other people), I'll have second-thoughts about actually going to that class, so sometimes I skip classes on purpose if I know I'll have to do a lot of socializing.
Is this shyness or is it a form of social phobia? (Note that Im not as bad as some people, such as the people that can't even go into a public place such as a store and ask for help, I can do these things fine just like a normal person). Thanks
I would not know if u have either but I see that you do not suffer from things that I suffer from and I am "shy". I think you are in a good place. Not everyone can be confident 100% of the time.
I think the best way to gauge how shy you are is to see how shy u get in front of girls. I find it extremely difficult to talk to girls. When it comes to one on one talking to a girl I fair much better but if you find it very difficult to talk to a girl then I would say that u are probably shy rather than have SA.
If you find it easy to talk to girls then I would say you have SA.
Doesn't sound like social phobia. Wasn't 'fear of public speaking' ranked above' fear of death' among most people or something? I went to Toastmasters and I've seen how freaked out 'non-shy' people get with public speaking, and I personally know blatant extroverts who couldn't stand having to read from a book in front of the class.
Also, a lot of non-shy guys get VERY nervous in front of girls. Self-consciousness is a wierd thing.
lol heh good rule dude, I'll follow that one for sure.
Im thinking that Im gonna wait until Im 18 (maybe it'll go away by then also), so I can talk to someone about it (Psychiatrist, counsellor etc) without my parents having to get involved.
Naa, I didn't diagnose anybody. To the 44 year old guy, I didn't say anything about opinions, I mentioned diagnosis. Get that anger checked
In response to remus, you wanna clarify a little? What diagnosis did I offer? Just kidding, buddy. Forums tend to run a lot more smoothly when people manage to stay on topic without getting petty. But then, I do realize a big problem here is lack of social skills.
A distinction I was taught to make was between social anxiety disorder, which is an actually illness, from extreme shyness which is not. The symptoms seem the same at first. I self-diagnosed. That self-diagnosis was "verified" by unqualified people on the internet, and then officially diagnosed as SA. The diagnosis was wrong.
So you really would be best to check with the professional, blink. Nervousness (or even terror) with giving solo presentations is no strong indicator of SA. That's a fear most people have. Likewise choking in front of the opposite sex.
Joined: Feb 10, 2005 Posts: 1831 Location: United States of America
Posted: Tue Dec 27, 2005 9:41 pm Post subject:
people, wtf is going on???? everybody put down your weapons!! i think there's alot of misunderstandings going on here! we're not here to bring each other down. everyone chill with the defenses please! now everybody give everybody a hug (((hug)))
ok i feel better now.
anyway, to the poster, i think the best way to find out if you have a problem with anything is if it starts to affect how you live your daily life, then you have a problem and you'd be better off seeing a doc.
SA does affect people in many different ways. it's most commonly characterized by a vicious cycle of fearing bad things happening in social situations, but it varies person to person in that we all attach different things to different occurances. those who easily blush, then fear blushing. others studder and thus won't speak to people they don't know. it all depends.
all in all, if it's keeping you from living a normal life, see a doc and see what they think. b/c i have SA but i can speak publically (not easily, but with enough preparation, i can). it varies. i can talk to strangers no problem. but i've also been to alot of therapy an dgone through CBT and all that jazz. you may have a mild case or you might be really really shy. i couldn't say. take care
ok thanks for all the replies so far.
Honestly, I really don't even know if it's affecting my life. It does affect me in the sense that I can't speak my mind or just talk about anything (like other people can) as easily as I would like to. It makes it hard for me to meet people. It doesn't affect me in the sense that I can still go out and do things (such as go to a store, buy something, ask for help, participate in sports, etc).
Last edited by blink12 on Wed Dec 28, 2005 1:35 am; edited 1 time in total
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